Whiskey Tango Foxtrot!
by K9 the First
Summary: An anthology of tales from all things related to the T. Sometimes serious, sometimes silly, sometimes creepy, and sometimes just... Weird.
1. 30 Random Words

**30 Random Words**

Hi! And welcome to Whiskey Tango Foxtrot! I'd like to thank RabulaTasa for letting me use the title. This is going to be an Anthology of sorts of one-shots about how I think the Teen Titans Universe works and its possible future. OOH! And points to who can figure out the reference in Word 27!

**1 Atheism**

On the corner of a busy intersection of Jump City, a man stood on a soap box yelling at the top of his lungs at the passing masses, most of whom ignored him, while others stalled to listen to him with varying degrees of emotion to what he was saying.

"As you can see, the religious leaders of the world are nothing more than lying quacks! The Bible, the Quran and all those other tissues were invented by ignorant Neanderthals to explain what they were to dense to figure out themselves! There is not Heaven, there is no Hell, there is no God OR a Devil! And I've got forty grand to give to anyone who can prove me wrong on any of those points!"

He felt a tug on his jacket, and when he turned around he saw Raven of the Teen Titans, with a hand held out as though expecting something.

"Hi, I'm Raven. Where's my money?"

**2 Overrides**

Cyborg never told people how his computer mind worked. His prosthetics were built under a military contract for a combination Wounded Veterans Relief/Extreme Front Infantry Android. And as such, the computers were given a highly advance AI, to work out strategies in the field for its original purpose, or for maintaining vitals for highly crippled recipients, much like Cyborg was now.

The problem was, when he went into battle, he heard this voice. Telling him the most 'efficient' ways to complete a mission, trouble was, sometimes the voice said the most efficient way was to let his team get captured or even die. There were overrides in place to keep it in check, but sometimes cyborg wondered how long those overrides would be effective. Before the AI learned to override the overrides.

**3 Lawyer**

So here it was. Graduation. Tara had scholarships to half the Colleges and Universities in the country, and a few dozen abroad, and she had no idea what to do with her life. She could be a Geologist, but…no. No, she wasn't comfortable with any connection to…her. Then again, a career in the military would have great benefits in the civilian arena, but she hated conflict.

_"In other news today, Justice Leaguer Booster Gold has come under a lawsuit by a collection of small companies for copyright infringement, and for damages in the result of his epic battle last week…"_

Then again, a Meta-Human Defense Attorney would be quite lucrative.

**4 Stale**

Beast Boy sat at the television playing Mega Monkeys V: The Return of Dr. Momo, when he heard the sound of someone sniffing above him. Looking up, he noticed Cyborg standing behind him with a disgusted look on his face.

"Dang, how long have you been wearing that uniform dawg?"

**5 Rolled**

Jinx stirred in her bed, and-after cursing at her alarm clock-languidly sat up in bed.

Only to find that her entire room was draped in toilet paper.

**6 Contradiction**

Pantha sat in the nude as she scoured the files and documents that littered her desk in her home, her fur still dripping from her shower. The yellow mask that normally hid her feline features lay discarded with her leotard. In one hand, she held the results of her recent confidential gene exam…

Matches: Rosabelle Mendez, 57

Along with her profile…

Name: Pantha; X-24

Age: Approx. 18

Country of Origin: Guatemala

It should have been a simple matter of looking up this "Rosabelle" and seeing if the numbers matched. It didn't.

Name: Rosabelle Mendez

Age: 25

Country of Origin: Montana, USA

Missing since April 9th, 1975. Found deceased near Montréal, Canada. September 12th, 1980

Pantha: 18, Mendez: 25. Pantha: Guatemala, Mendez: Montana, USA.

So many missing bits and conflicting information.

**7 Cleared**

Beast Boy looked at his now pale hands. The reflection of the glove dispenser showed a blonde haired blue eyed boy of fifteen. He turned to the doctor.

"So… You mean I'm cured?"

**8 Ward**

Every night Azar would place a special spell over the infant Raven's crib, to both protect her from and hide her from Trigon and his agents. It was a complex spell, which she alone would trust in putting in place, for the many other monks who knew it may use the opportunity to end the child's life. When one night she saw the ward already in place, she asked if anyone had entered the room in between her nightly bath and calming ritual and Azar entering the chambers. When none admitted to it, or volunteered information, Azar could conclude to one of two possibilities:

One, one of the other Monks did it for her and wished to be anonymous-unlikely- or two, that the baby, who was only seven months old, could be most proficient with magic, an almost certainty.

**9 Graduates**

When Jinx, Mammoth and Gizmo were sent back after graduating, the underclassmen laughed them to scorn.

Gizmo and Mammoth were able to laugh it off due to both there unease at the prospect of leaving the HIVE and lack of real motivation, but Jinx was mortified, and wouldn't leave her dorm room for almost a week. She was supposed to be better than this, right? Surely she could make something better of herself than merely a High School flunky.

Right?

**10 Whiskey**

"Cyborg?" Raven said, looking at the passed out Beast Boy and swaying Robin in the living room after the boys returned from a botched mission.

"Next time you and the others go on a mission to the West Virginian backcountry, and someone in overalls and a straw hat gives you a jug with X's on it when someone has a cold and says 'Take This', do us all a favor: Don't.

**11 Galaxy**

Beast Boy scratched his head in thought. "Hey Cyborg? If Superman can only fly just short the speed of light, then how can he go to the other side of the Galaxy and back in a matter of hours when it takes light 120,000 years to make the same trip one way?"

**12 Advisors**

As its ruler, Galfore swore to protect Tameran from all threats. Sadly, he forgot to consider the most heinous, most dangerous evil of them all: His advisors, and the bureaucratic interest groups that backed them.

**13 Perception**

After Robin's fateful trip to Tokyo with the other Titans, Batman was on the newly repaired view screen looking agitated.

"Robin, I believe we had the discussion about getting romantically involved with members of your team. It will cloud your judgment and put your mission in jeopardy."

Robin smiled smugly. "Oh really? Then what's this?" In response, he held up a Japanese edition of the _Gotham Post_, and on the front cover was a picture of Batman and Catwoman in a tight embrace sharing a passionate kiss. Well, Catwoman was, Batman seemed frozen in shock and surprise. Above the picture was the article title in Japanese text, which roughly translated to: Are Bat-Kittens in the future of Gotham's Rooftops?

**14 Diet**

After her embarrassingly botched mission with the new Wildebeest Society, Pantha swore to rebuild her body to be more agile and less bulky. She would take special karate classes and learn gymnastics. She was totally dedicated to not having to relive her embarrassment at being captured.

Though the _food_ she would have to eat to lose the excess weight was beginning to seem like a greater evil than the Society itself.

**15 Accompanied**

Steel City was all a tingle about the new Jazz club opening down on Johns and Main. It was to have the hottest new musicians and bands every night, with a Retro Night dedicated to the classics of the genre. And for its grand opening, the club was to have the owner Herald recreating It Don't Mean a Thing by Ella Fitzgerald, accompanied by his girlfriend Bumble Bee on vocals.

**16 Finger**

Beast Boy would never forget Raven's first exposure to Earth's symbolic profanity.

The two of them were at a local store picking up some blankets and towels for their rooms at the new tower, when Raven asked one of the employees about some product that he had long forgotten (he's slept since then). In response, the teen just gave her the finger. Beast Boy was about to go off on the guy for being so rude, when Raven's face scrunched up in confusion and said something that had him rolling for a very long time: "….Yes, it's a very nice finger."

**17 Confusion**

When they got home, Beast Boy explained just what 'The Finger' meant here on earth. In response, Raven's face skewed up even more in confusion than it did in the store.

"But, it's a _finger_. _A **finger**_."

Looking back, Beast Boy figured that it was right then and there that he loved this introverted girl.

**18 Fuel**

Ever since he was little, Cyborg always loved the rumbling sound of a powerful engine. The purring as it coasted, the roar as it accelerated. And because of that love, he always made sure to get the biggest, most powerful engines commercially available for each incarnation of the T-Car, and then subsequently kicked it up a notch or eight.

But after he spent almost eighty dollars for half a tank, he went straight home and replaced the entire engine and gas tank with a battery, a power cell, and invented small wind turbines for the under carriage. And he never paid for gas again.

**19 Last Request**

After the dust settled, Pantha and Red Star stood up and examined the damage. They were chasing a suspect through an artificial cave deep under Moscow, when they triggered explosive in the walls that caused a cave-in. Fortunately they would live, but they were trapped hundreds of feet below ground.

"So… We're stuck here?"

"For the moment yes. We just have to wait for the rescue crews to dig us out."

"But for all we know they won't be able to before either our air runs out or we starve."

"…Yes."

Pantha considered this for a moment and shrugged. "Well Ruskie, if we're gonna die we might as well have sex."

**20 Pragmatic**

When Batman sent him an e-mail containing protocols to take down each of the Titans should they turn on him, Robin was mad. But when he was building Red-X, a dark, secret corner of his mind thanked Bruce for them. And when Terra betrayed them, he cursed himself for deleting that file not a week earlier.

**21 Respectable**

What did it mean to be Respectable? Brain had often pondered over this question, often during his ethically questionable experiments on the Gorilla he had named Mallah, back when he was whole. The experiments raised the gorilla's IQ exponentially, and he gained an intelligently equal and friend, but he still doubted whether or not he had the right to play with such thing.

He most certainly respected the man and the work of his friend Niles Caulder, the wheelchair-bound Englishman. But then the same man destroyed his body and tried to make him the first Robotman, leaving only his brain alive. Had it not been for the quick work of his friend Mallah, he most certainly would have either died or been afflicted by the curse now occupied by Cliff Steele.

From the moment he regained consciousness and learned of his plight, the scientist took the name Brain, and declared his War on the 'respectable' men like Niles Caulder, everything they stood for, and all who stood by them.

**22 Refined**

"Excusez-moi manqué, mais vous êtes la femme la plus belle au monde." Raven looked up and was somewhat surprised that it was Beast Boy that addressed her, but even more so by his manner of dress, which was an immaculate tuxedo, a small bouquet of white and red roses in one hand, a bottle of a fine wine in the other. (scratch that, it was red grape juice.)

He spoke again, "Devez-vous me joindre pour un pique-nique en parc ?"

Now, Raven didn't know French, but she was able to pick out a few words here and there. "Beast Boy, what are you doing?"

"Vous m'avez souhaité pour être plus raffiné, non ?"

Raven sighed, regretting her heated remarks during a previous argument with a roll of her eyes. "Yes, but not at the sacrifice of you."

The next thing Raven knew was that she was being crushed in a rough bear hug.

**23 Accounting**

"Hey BB.."

"Yeah Cy?"

"You ever wonder what you'll do when you don't want to be a superhero anymore?"

"Not really."

"Well I do, and I can't think of anything! I'll admit, that scares me sometimes…"

"…I got it! With all your computer implants, you could be an accountant!"

"…That ain't funny man."

**24 Curly**

"So Hotspot, what do you think of my 'air?"

Hotspot looked up from his crossword to see Argent, with all her hair up in a mass of ebony curls, with a lock of spiraled red falling over her lift eye. Gawking, the poor boy could think of only one way to describe it.

"…Scary."

**25 Tango**

Beast Boy ran over to Raven, looking very much like the proverbial kid in a candy story.

"Raven!" He called, a rose in hand, "Let's Tango!"

She merely gazed at him for a moment before returning to her book. "Let's not."

Undaunted, Beast Boy continued, putting the flower in his mouth, "Ah come on! You know ya wann-" until he halted with a silent squeal of pain.

Raven never looked up. "Let me guess, thorns."

**26 Nosebleed**

After the Brotherhood was defeated, Robin, Bumble Bee, and the rest of the Titans decided to get together at least once a year for a night of fun, which quickly turned into a Karaoke party. When it started, Robin didn't see anything wrong with it, until Beast Boy started singing The Bad Touch. Halfway through the first verse Robin was out of his seat and walking over to the machine to unplug it, when Cyborg stopped him with a hand on his shoulder. It was then he noticed everyone laughing: Pantha appeared to be close to tears under her mask, Wildebeest was slamming the table he sat at, Bumble Bee was in the middle of a gut-buster(despite nearly chocking on her water), Melvin was giggling behind her hands while her brothers were asleep, and that it seemed Beast Boy had Raven what could only be described as trapped in her seat as he belted the chorus:

_"You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals! / so let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel!"_

Who knew girls could nosebleed like that?

**27 Foxtrot**

It was Christmas at the tower, and gifts were being exchanged. Cyborg opened his from Beast Boy and took a look of confusion.

It appeared to be a calculator, but it only had three buttons: a 1, a 0, and an Enter button.

"BB, what is this?"

"Isn't it obvious? It's a Binary Calculator!."

**28 Prevention**

Pantha stared slack-jawed at the doctor, it was almost three months since she and Red Star were able to escape from the cave-in, thanks to the Moscow Emergency Response teams, and she had been feeling a bit under the weather recently. It took some urging from the other Titans, but when Wildebeest threw his lot in as well she finally decided to see a doctor. …She never dreamed this would be the cause.

"……What do ya mean I'm _pregnant_?!"

**29 Nickname**

"I don't know which is worse about the name 'Garfield', the name itself, or its nickname 'Gar.'"

**30 Stayed**

After Starfire disappeared with Warp, the Titans tried to keep together, but without to bubbly positivity of the alien, it just wasn't the same.

Looking over everything now, Cyborg couldn't tell which about his current state was: That he was so decrepit, or that he stayed at the tower at all.


	2. Let's Get Started! On All The Things We

**Let's Get Started (On all the Things We Talked About)**

A little gift for all the Rae/Rob fans out there, it's a Songfic to Let's Get Started on Doing All those Awesome Things I Suggested from the CD Strong Bad Sings and Other Type Hits.

_Uh!_

Robin leafed through the Jump City Times, checking up on anything that may have happened overnight that he may have missed.

As he turned the page, he noticed Raven enter the kitchenette to prepare her morning tea.

_They got the uh! What?  
We got the uh! What?_

"Morning Raven." Robin greeted amiably_._

_Oh, Girl.  
__Yeah, I said "Oh, girl."_

"You're up awfully late. Couldn't sleep well?"

_Dang  
You don't look half bad_

"Not particularly, no. Remind me to never eat anything related to Louisiana right before bed if it's made by Cyborg."

Robin had to laugh at that out loud, in spite of himself. "Will do Raven, will do."

_You clean up pretty nice  
What'd you do, take a shower?_

With a sigh, Robin stood up, tossing the now folded paper onto the table as he arced his back, stretching the muscles.

"Well, I'm off. Star an' me are off to the movies. You wanna come?"

_Use some bath salts?_

"No thank you," Raven declined, "My intestinal track has yet to fully recover from last night's meal. I'm going to stay in my nice, quiet room and read. After I take some Pepto."

"All right Raven, see you and the others tonight then." And with that, Robin walked out of the living room for his date, leaving Raven to ponder what to do with her day.

_Anyways, you smell like apricots.  
LET'S GET STARTED!..._

……………..What? What did you expect, Rae and Rob to kiss or something? They interacted, that's it. Which pretty much sums up what they did in the show, even in season four. And yes. That's the WHOLE song.


	3. When Bat Met Cat

**When Bat Met Cat**

Yes, I realize that this isn't much of a Teen Titans tale, but it's still a very important part of my version of things. Not to mention it's a very interesting story to tell: the dark, broody crime fighter, the friendly, sexually attractive super-thief, and the rather ambiguous relationship between them. This version of Catwoman is inspired by the great Chris Dee, and her Cat-Tales series. Read it. It's like a combination of comic books and a sit-com! You might not like it if you're a Star/Rob fan, Dick Grayson/Teen Titans Robin marries Barbara Gordon/Batgirl I, but that shouldn't stop you. Some of the lines may have been taken from her writings, but I see it as more of an Homage than anything else.

An announcement: I have revised this story. I have made corrections in wordings, items that make little sense, and added little bits of info that should be in here but weren't. Thank you.

**Log entry 000-00-000138.**

**A new criminal has taken residence in Gotham. It is a thief of a caliber I've not witnessed firsthand before. In the past fortnight, nine private homes of Upper Class citizens along the Kane Beach and the Upper West Side, three major stores selling expensive jewelry and the Gotham Museum of Classical Art were all broken into, the only thing reported as stolen were items usually Cat-related in nature. Since the Art Museum was hit first, I had first suspected it might have been an inside job, but with the similar break ins taken place since then, I have changed my theory. All the targets had high-scale anti-theft security systems, the most extensive commercially available to the parties involved. The identical pattern of breaking and entering, and subsequent thefts supports the police department's theory that this is either the same person, or a ring of highly trained individuals dedicated to recreating an exacting MO. Though if the latter is true, then why were the targets hit one at a time? In the fourteen days of the theft wave, on only two occasions were multiple targets hit: on the ninth, two of the residential houses were hit, but the times of the break ins suggest that they were not simultaneous, but hours apart, while on the twelfth, all three of the jewelry stores were hit. Again, only hours apart. This is the work of one individual, and a highly skilled individual at that.**

**A motive is unknown, and it would be foolhardy and potentially dangerous to think of one without evidence suggesting what it is at this time.**

**Log entry 000-00-000140**

**A breakthrough in the cat burglar case. In the Art museum and Jewelry store break ins, all of the cameras were by-passed, and any footage of the estimated time between suspected break in and escape of the criminal destroyed. However, last night after late patrol, another residential home was broken into. The owner was Carl Sedgwick, of the old Sedgwick Rail Road fortune, and a high profile PETA member who owns a considerable collection of crystal sculptures of various felines.**

**When the first residential homes were hit, Mr. Sedgwick himself installed a hidden camera to observe his glass menagerie at night should he be a target of what the media is calling "The Cat." Early this morning, Mr. Sedgwick was startled awake by his security alarm. Since no knowledge of how the thief would have reacted to being discovered by a civilian target is known, it is fortunate that Mr. Sedgwick stay in his bed until the Police arrived, when, after examining the footage, we have our first real photographic evidence of the thief.**

**At 03:20 AM, the footage shows the thief walking in from the patio. The thief appears to be a woman near her mid-twenties, about 5' 9" with hair reaching her mid-back or waist dressed in a tight, possibly leather cat suit complete with a cowl with cat-shaped ears sewn on. (See Footage File #00-63A). The woman started to use what appeared to be a sophisticated lock-pick on the glass cage holding the figurines. I will make a point to visit Mr. Sedgwick early tonight before patrol to examine the case.**

**When the case was opened, the woman turned around to pick up a briefcase, possibly with an insulating foam interior to protect the figurines, and noticed the camera. With a start, she triggered the alarm, and subsequently ran out, remembering to take the briefcase with her so as to not leave any incriminating evidence. Normally, I would suspect that she had forgotten about disarming the alarm, and/or was getting sloppy, but since all the alarms at all the other targets were left on as well, it is possible the thief enjoys challenging herself.**

**Now that I have a visual of what to look for, and a thorough knowledge of the thief's Modus Operandi, I can now orchestrate a proper search for her. I will conduct sweeps of the Upper Class residential areas of the Upper West Side, Kane Beach properties and surrounding areas, as well as Museum Row and the Diamond District.**

Bruce Wayne saved the entry and powered down the computer. As he stood up he removed his gloves and laid them down next to his cowl. He then turned toward his attention to the map of Gotham he had spread out earlier that night. On top of the map was a sheet of Overhead Projector film, which he marked on the locals of this Cat Burglar's exploits. The Bijoux Impériaux had just received a large shipment of a wide variety of precious stones last week, and the jewels would more than likely be safely tucked away by now, just like the other three stores. The thief had yet to make another swipe at another high end jewelry store, so the Bijoux Impériaux would be a most likely target.

"Master Bruce," Alfred Pennyworth, Wayne's Butler, closest friend and compatriot on this War on Crime, even if he did dislike it tremendously, and said so at any opportunity, "It is well past Midnight. Need I remind you of your meeting with the board at precisely nine o'clock this morning?"

Though the sudden appearance of the man may have startled most, the last of the Wayne family was more than used to Alfred's silent ways. In fact, Bruce may have subconsciously learned a few things from the man's silent feet.

"Not to worry Alfred, I've not forgotten, I'll be up in a minute. You go on to bed, I won't be long."

Alfred cocked an incredulous eyebrow at this, though the rest of him remained just as stoic and restrained as before. The British butler merely gave a small hum of disapproval before walking upstairs as silently as he had entered.

* * *

The next twenty hours saw Bruce Wayne stumble through a board meeting, as per usual, a lunch with friends at their favorite restaurant, and a date with some airheaded heiress whose name he had long forgotten. Little more than a bimbo who babble almost nonstop of the most inane and dull dribble he had ever imagined.

How he longed to dawn his cape and cowl and roam the rooftops to silence crooks, but since it was summer, he had to put up with her since it just simply wouldn't do to have Batman roam the rooftops in daylight.

And finally, those final few hours saw Batman on the roof of the Bijoux, squatting in the shadow of a ventilation duct, waiting for his quarry to come to the party.

The trouble with preemptive stake-outs such as this was that you didn't know if your hunch was correct. Fortunately, the Bijoux was surrounded by a half dozen other likely targets, and since the Bijoux was the tallest building in the district, Batman would easily see anyone trying to break into the neighbors. Still, that didn't mean this mysterious feline wouldn't hit a target clear across town.

However, Lady Luck was with the Dark Knight this evening, for a chance glance over the edge allowed him to see his prey just as she slipped into the housing of a ventilation duct of the next high-rise over, seven stories below. With a determined smirk, Batman waited for his prey to enter the duct, following only after a moment's pause.

The thief had obviously done her homework. This particular building was a recent annex to the Bijoux, mostly for storing the more valuable merchandise then for showcasing them. As such, the name of the company was not on the building, but rather the name of its previous owners: Kane Brothers & Sons, a now defunct insurance company. Augmenting this, no transfers occurred between the Annex and Store Proper above ground, but through a secret tunnel connecting the two buildings, lest unscrupulous eyes were watching. The theory being that most potential thieves would attack the Bijoux Impériaux proper, which held items of lesser value, as well as much tighter security, and half a police department worth of security guards.

Granted, the system was more geared toward thieves that were incompetent, amateurs, unobservant, or just plain stupid. Any thief that may have had any hacking skills, or had access to someone who did, it would take only a few hours at most to gather information on patrol routes and intervals, schedules, possibly even access codes. But at any rate, the security in the Annex was not something to laugh at. Since people would notice an Out-of-Business Insurance Company getting security upgrades the likes of which more often seen in buildings holding valuables, little was done to what was already present. But what was there was subtle, but very impressively shrewd, and every week, the security guards practiced running from the Bijoux Proper into the Annex via the underground tunnel in the guise of a Fire Drill, so that once the silent alarm sounded in the Annex, half of the force would apprehend the felons so fast their heads would spin.

Batman walked silently and purposefully down the dark and quiet halls of the annex, careful to set his feet down slowly so as to limit the sound in the echoing corridor, his shadow one of many in the darkened building. On the fifth floor, in a normal-looking office, a false wall hid the main vault. It was in this office that the thief was more than likely would be. As he snuck up to the open door frame, he heard the gentle clicking of a dial, followed by the clank of the handle being turned.

"_Bingo."_

The Caped Crusader leaped around the door frame to catch the crook in the act, cutting off her escape, and was about to spew a rather witty comment… When he saw her.

Well, her hind-end, but still. …..It was a nice end.

Bruce didn't know just how long he stood there, jaw dropped like a fish just staring at how the moon seemed to spotlight that large, tight, round-GAH!

Batman shook his head vigorously to snap himself out of it, then made his presence known.

"Your crime wave is over! You are coming with me!"

If the woman was startled, she didn't show it. The vault was not high, but it was deep and wide, forcing her to either get on all fours or squat. Batman barely saw her face as she turned her head around to see who had entered, mostly just a glimmer of an eye really. Then she backed out of the vault, stood and turned around.

And what a vision she was. If just a glimpse of her gluteus maximi could stall the mind of the world's greatest detective, then beholding the entire package was like activating an electromagnet on top of a computer. An hourglass figure, encased in soft lavender leather, thigh high boots, a partially wound up bullwhip was attached to the small of her back, giving the effect of a cat's tail, thick ebony hair flowed from the back of her purple and black mask, faux cat ears adorned her crown, full red lips, legs that went _all the way to the floor_, and two beautiful large…. luminous green eyes.

The lovely feline gave a seductive smirk as she slowly advanced on him, "Well, well well…" Her voice was smooth as silk, and sweet as chocolate, "The legendary Batman finally comes to pay the new girl a visit after being in town for over two months." Her eyes moved up and down his intimidating figure, the smirk turning into a fully fledged smile, "I'm afraid I'll have to agree with Pammy, you certainly are the essence of a man." A gloved hand rose over his developed chest, "Though I have a feeling that my intent is quite different from hers."

A quick blink brought Batman out of his haze as he stealthily fingered his Bat-Cuffs from his utility belt.

"I see you've been social with Gotham's unique nightlife miss."

The lady subtly shuddered and positively _purred_ and how he spoke. "Well, I've just got back in from studying abroad and thought I'd see how the old stomping grounds have changed."

He hardened his features, "A pity how you've done so the wrong way. You are charged with over ten counts of Breaking and Entering and grand theft, I'm taking you in. You have the right to remain silent and to an attorney-."

The woman interrupted with laughter, "Oh ho! We barely meet and you're telling me what to do? I don't think so. A Cat is notorious for her unwillingness, and a Woman scorned has worse fury then Hell, and I'm both. Think you can handle me still?"

The clicking of handcuffs clamping onto their target was the Bat's only answer. And from the look on her face, the Femme Fatale was surprised beyond her imagining. This pleased Gotham's protector, so much so that his mouth actually went up into what some may call a smirk, if not an outright smile.

"I think I can. _Catwoman._"

Catwoman looked wide-eyed at the cuffs around her wrists for a moment, before that seductive grin returned to her lovely features.

"Ooh, Kinky!"

Batman actually blinked in response for that. Didn't she realize what was going on? After a grunt of dissatisfaction and a squint of the eyes, he picked her up and hefted her onto his shoulder, turned around and walked down to the ground floor, signaling to the Batmobile to be at the door. He thought this would jar her into realizing that she was going to jail. He thought wrong. She was as chatty as ever.

"So, where we goin'? Back to your cave or wherever it is that you live?"

He figured ignoring her would give a hint. Again: Wrong.

"What're we gonna do when we get there? …You don't talk much do you?"

Stoic silence and the tapping of his boots on the linoleum floor was the only answer.

"Hey! Are you a Vampire or something?" A horrified gasp echoed in the emergency stairwell they had just entered. "You are, aren't you?! You're going to take me to your dungeon and make me one of your harem! Bite my neck and make me one of your undead Brides of Dracula! You'll tie me down and do unspeakable things to me! You could tell I'm a virgin couldn't you? I bet that made me a prime target."

They had finally reached the lobby, the Batmobile was thankfully waiting for them. A nervous tick was working its magic in Batman's eye. He decided the Silent Treatment would not work as well as hoped.

"Hardly."

"Hey! It specks!"

Batman grunted in annoyance, he would be glad to have this obnoxious beauty out of his hair.

The hatch of the vehicle opened automatically, and Batman more dropped then placed Catwoman into the passenger seat. She looked around herself, looking all the while not unlike a curious kitten.

"Wow. This is a big car." She looked at him with a curious glint in her eye, and a tilt of her head, then that insufferable grin returned. "Are you compensating for something?"

The slam of the hatch was his only response.

As the engine revved and pulled into the street, the woman continued to baffle, exasperate and frustrate Batman all the way to the Gotham City Police Department HQ with just her talk, so much so that he chose not to bother looking at her. He didn't know it yet, but her attitude towards him and life in general was something that he would find would be a key element to his relationship to Catwoman.

Finally, they arrived at the station, Lieutenant Gordon and three other officers waiting for him at the stairs.

"The GCPD? You're really gonna lock little ol' me up?"

Slowly, the Dark Knight turned towards her, pupil less white eyes stared into her lively green ones. A long pause permeated the cockpit, a single syllable was his only answer: "Yes."

That curious and admittedly adorable head tilt returned, before that horrid grin returned. "You going to join me?"

Blink. "What?"

"I had no idea you were into bondage Batman. You even paid off Gotham's 'Finest' to arrange this little fling! You know, if you just wanted to have a night of fun and games, all you had to do was ask."

The silence that followed was brief, but memorable, with Batman's blank face, and Catwoman's pleased smile. Batman left the cockpit and walked around to the passenger side just as Gordon walked up.

"So what have you for us tonight Batman? I've not known you to personally deliver criminals."

"Lieutenant Gordon, Gentlemen," Batman greeted as he opened the hatched and lifted Catwoman from her seat, "I give you your one woman theft-ring: Catwoman."

"Hi handsome!" and a happy smile was her only greeting.

Gordon smirked, "Hello yourself, let's take you in for prints so we can find out who you are."

Catwoman gently smiled demurely as she turned her face away like a blushing belle. "Why lieutenant, I'm shocked! We just meet and you want to be on first name basis like we're old friends? I'm flattered."

The clicking of handcuffs around wrists was heard as Gordon reached to take her arm, "Completely uninterested, but flattered none the less."

Like a shot, she jumped up and onto the roof of the Batmobile. Batman and Gordon both reached for a batarang and sidearm respectively, but found that their movements were hindered by the fact that they were cuffed together by Batman's own cuffs.

A late night shuttle had just ended its run for the day, and was driving down the road towards its shed until the next afternoon. Catwoman used the opportunity to take another leap and onto the roof of the bus as it sped down the street.

"Ta-ta boys!" was her only parting call, just as the vehicle turned, and she leaped off into the shadows.

The three officers that joined Gordon and Batman were speechless, frozen by the unexpected and brazen escape, one man looked as though he was tempted to applaud. Batman and the lieutenant were stunned still as well, but Batman was the first to break the spell and reached for his keys as Gordon returned to the living.

"Wh-what a woman."

"Indeed."

The other men in blue snapped out of it as well. "How did she pull that off?" one asked.

Once Batman freed himself and Gordon, Batman pondered the question. "…She was distracting me."

"What?"

"From the very start, after I cuffed her, Catwoman grew more and more obnoxious and deviant in her language. She became such an annoyance I ignored her completely, all the while she was most likely picking the locks where I couldn't see." He looked at the now emptied metal rings and the chain connecting them carefully, "I need new Batcuffs."

3 Weeks Later

Catwoman stalked out of the stairway and onto the roof of the Gotham Museum of Ancient History, pack full of booty on her back. After her foiled robbery of the Bijoux Impériaux, she laid low. The Batman was as handsome and well built as she had heard, but she knew he would be a skilled opponent. She would have to be cautious.

Of course, that didn't mean that she wasn't anxious to go up against him again.

She had decided to diversify her costume wardrobe in the meantime. Not only so that she could go 'hunting' multiple nights in a row without having to worry about cleaning her outfit, but she could have certain suits made for certain jobs, as well as confuse the authorities, since there would be more than one reported description of her, delaying response. The little number that she currently wore was a black PVC cat suit with built in boots and gloves, the zipper situated in the front, said zipper was not a metal flap, but a ring. Her cowl was different as well, it being attached to the suit, with goggles on a strap that was attached to said cowl in the back, designed to help see trip lasers. It was by far one of her least favorite outfits, but she swore to only wear it on very specific occasions. Heaven forbid she get photographed in it.

"I don't believe that those items belong to you Catwoman."

That voice. That oh so deep, resonating and rich _voice_! He was here! She turned around to see an onyx shadow, with glowing white eyes. Catwoman put down her pack and jutted out a shapely hip, planted a fist on it with one hand, and gave a mock salute with the other.

"I salute you World's Greatest Detective."

Those white eyes narrowed as the figure walked out of the shadows and into the moonlight.

"You're going to prison Catwoman, you've got a lot to answer for."

"This again?" She asked, and she stretched languidly, turning so that he would see her curved profile. "Please, it's not like I offed the commissioner or something. I've got standards ya know. Come now Handsome, that didn't work out last time, and I doubt that it will now."

"I beg to differ, your little games won't work on me this time."

She turned her head towards him, a little disappointed that her trick didn't work as the man in black walked right up to her, but from the smirk on her face, one would be fooled. She put her hands down, meeting him chest to chest, "What, you bat for the other team now? I bet Richard Simmons must be _very_ happy for you."

"I'm sorry Catwoman," he smirked as the sound of clicking handcuffs resonated on the rooftops, "But this is the way it has to be."

They stood there for a long moment, when the cat lady smirked a self-satisfied smile, then gave a petit snort. The Batman was confused for a moment, when he remembered that he didn't even remove the batcuffs from his utility belt.

Looking down, he saw that somehow she pick his proverbial pocket and cuffed him again! Quickly he palmed his wrists, hoping to gain his lock pick, not finding it, he searched the belt in horror, which magnified when he realized that that one was gone as well.

"Looking for these?"

Looking up, Batman realized that somehow Catwoman picked his sleeve and his belt, gaining his picks that now dangled from her hand, held above and between them like twisted mistletoe.

"Ya want 'em?" she asked, inclining her head mischievously. At his silence, Catwoman looped a finger through the ring on her zipper, pulling down to just below the mid-point of her breasts, which now rose like a tide with each breath. Painfully, Batman watched as she slowly placed the two picks between her breasts, leaving enough visible that he could, in theory, grab them with lightening quick reflexes, if propriety were not an issue. Then, just as slowly, she pulled the zipper back up, concealing his captured picks.

"Come and get 'em."

With that, Catwoman back-flipped over and over across the rooftop, jumping backward once she reached the edge, leaving her booty behind. With one last jest, Catwoman formed a cannonball as she fell, giving one final wave as she disappeared over the edge.

For a long moment, Batman just stood there, awestruck at the woman's boldness.

"_What a woman."_

He stood stiff for five minutes, until he realized that he was still handcuffed, and was in for a long climb down because of it. With a grunt of frustration, the Batman readied a grapnel gun for his descent.

* * *

The Titans laughed long and hearty as Robin finished the story. Beast Boy and Cyborg had tears in their eyes, while Starfire was having to lean on Robin's shoulder to keep from falling over, something he wasn't to unhappy about. Even Raven, the more subdued member of the team, had the largest smile he had ever personally seen on her graceful features.

"Dude!" Beast Boy called out, "I can't believe it! Batman trumped by Catwoman! AHAHA!! And not just once! But twice!!"

Cyborg joined in, wiping the tear from his organic eye, "And it's not only that, but how she did it!" Rambunctious laughter flew from his mouth as her doubled over.

Starfire couldn't answer right at that moment, but the look in her eyes told him everything.

Raven put her tea down on the coffee table in front of them, she leaned back and crossed her arms. An eyebrow cocked itself as she asked her question.

"So, how did _your_ first meeting with Catwoman go?"

Silence fell on the room like a crashing airplane as Cyborg and Beast Boy looked at each other, then slowly turned their gaze to their leader, eyes wide in eager anticipation.

Robin in the meantime, had frozen. Eyes wide and skin pale. For a good twenty seconds he did and said nothing. Finally, the Boy Wonder coughed and found his voice.

"Uh… Well, it's really not that interesting a story really, she always seemed more interested in Batman then me so-."

The alarm interrupted him, the red lights flaring, with a relieved smile, Robin addressed his team.

"Sorry Titans, but we've got work to do."

"That's okay," Raven said with a smirk as Beast Boy and Cyborg looked on almost evilly, "you can tell us when we get back."

THE END…?


	4. Robin And Beast Boy's 'Discussion'

**Robin and Beast Boy's "Discussion"**

It was Rush Hour in fair Jump City, which meant that as far as the eye could see, cars were lined up one right after another, bumper to bumper, waiting for the cruel mistress that was the traffic light to change.

Even the Teen Titans were not exempted from the retched quagmire that was modern American traffic, the T-Car had just gotten through one intersection, only to barely squeeze into line for the one in front of them a full city block ahead of them.

The youths had just finished up another fight against crime and were only wishing to return home for a bite to eat, a warm shower, or simply a nap. Instead they were stuck in the universal vice of all urban areas.

Raven and Starfire sat in the backseat of the now iconic mobile Titans symbol, the former entertaining herself with another new book, one she had been meaning to read for some time. Slow moments like these rarely affected her like most of her teammates, even if she didn't have a book on her, she could always entertain herself in her head, she only acted different for the benefit of her friends. As she likes to think to herself: "The only kind of person that gets bored easily is a boring person."

The Alien Princess beside her, however, gazed at the pedestrians just outside the window, illogically resenting them for the good time they seemed to be making to their destinations compared to her and her friends. She could have easily just picked up the vehicle herself and flown her and her friends home in seconds. And she had promised herself to do just that in the traffic didn't pick up soon. However, just when she was about to unbuckle her seatbelt, the motion of traffic would begin, then end, and Star would be right where she started from.

In the driver's seat, Robin sat. Looking forward at the cars in front of them in what looked like a well-practiced Bat-Glare, as though that would make the offending constructs vanish, or at the very least move faster. Three weeks ago, Cyborg was heavily damaged in battle, and since he didn't trust any of the Titans with 'his baby,' the cybernetic teen had constructed a remote control system into the T-Car so he could still drive his team anywhere they were needed.

The fact that the T-Car was now little more than a giant remote controlled toy car was not lost on the boys.

In the much coveted 'Shot Gun', Beast Boy sat, slumped against the window, a blank look graced his continence. As the T-Car eased into the last spot available on the street after the intersection the head just gone through, the chartreuse teen spoke up.

"….Ya know. It's time like this when I realize that we were lied to by _The Jetsons."_

Robin turned to him, a look of curiosity on his face, secretly grateful that the boy beside him gave him something else to focus on other than the traffic. Unseen, Cyborg raised an eyebrow at what he was hearing, also glad for some sort of conversation.

"What do you mean?" The Boy Wonder asked.

"Well… According to that show we were supposed to be tootling around in flying cars by now."

Behind them, Raven rolled her eyes, while Starfire began to drift to sleep.

Up front, Robin smiled ruefully at the thought. "Yeah well, most of us weren't betting on a cartoon from the sixties to give us all a viable glimpse into the future of technological development."

Beast boy gave a non-committal sort of sigh before he was silent for a moment, then turned to his leader, "Hey, what would you trade for the Flying Car?"

Robin cocked an eyebrow, "Huh?"

"Well, say some German Scientist comes up to you and says, 'I have invented the Flying Car! And I'll give it to you on one condition.'"

For some reason, Slade instantly came to Robin's mind to play the part of the German Scientist. "Well what's the condition?"

"He's not gonna tell you."

"Then it's no deal."

"What!? The man is offering you the_ Flying Car_!! It's like that saying about the gift horse that I don't get: You take the car!"

Robin crossed his arms. "Not until I know what the condition is. I want to know if it'll be worth it."

Beast boy sighs and rolled his eyes in exasperation, "Fine! …The catch is ya gotta cut off a foot."

Although neither saw it, Raven lowered her book to her lap, her face a look of confusion.

"What?! No way!"

"Are you telling me you wouldn't cut off your foot for the Flying Car?! You're _that_ selfish?"

"It's my freakin' _foot_ Beast Boy! How would I _walk_?"

"Pfft, what walk? You'll have the _Flying Car_! After that you can buy, like, fifty prosthetic feet."

"…How? A good quality prosthetic would cost more than a normal car."

"Well, the Scientist's including the patent with the car. You could sell it and get several hundred million dollars."

Robin considered the logic for a moment, and saw that it made sense. So he decided to continue the hypothetical situation. "All right… Which foot? Right or left?"

Beast Boy shrugged, "Meh, you're choice."

Robin put a hand to his chin, mulling over which foot he could sacrifice, prosthetic feet could be fragile, and he didn't want to wind up without a foot in the middle of a fight. …He tended to favor his right foot for hitting now that he thought about it.

"Okay… I'll trade my left foot for the Flying Car."

"All right it's a deal then: Your foot for the Flying Car, you're sure?"

"Yes I'm sure."

"'Cause you can't welch-."

"I won't welch!"

"Because the whole world is depending on you, because if you don't agree he's gonna take his Flying Car to the grave."

Robin suddenly felt that he should consider things a bit more. After all, the German Scientist was Slade in his mind.

"….What kinda scientist is this guy anyway?"

"One with a _lot_ of free time on his hands my friend………… And a foot fetish. SO! You find out that the German Scientist is going to cut off your foot with a Hacksaw-."

"WHAT?!"

"And no annie-… aneste….. No painkiller." Suddenly, Robin's mental casting of Slade as the Scientist made sense.

"Oh_ screw _that!"

Beast Boy Shrugged, "Hey, it's part of the deal."

"You didn't say that earlier!"

"Oh come on Robin! It'll only hurt when they're taking the foot off. Afterwards they'll inject a local on your stub and cauterize the wound."

The fact that Beast Boy used a word like "cauterize" was lost on everyone else as Robin plowed through, "Why can't I get the local before he cuts it off?!"

"Because: He is a sick degenerate who likes to cause others pain."

Raven rolled her eyes and went back to her book.

"You said he was a man of Science!"

"I said no such thing. 'Sides, you don't think Einstein didn't hack people's feet off for kicks 'n' giggles? It's just that no one talks about it 'cause he was one of the greatest thinkers of our time. So come on Rob! Take a hit for the team! Just keep reminding yourself that after that you'd be living the life of luxury and _zero_ traffic!"

Robin sighed, "Fine! …Just as long as I get the local as soon as he's done cutting."

Beast Boy cocked an eyebrow, his eyes slightly wider in surprise. "Oh, so you _want _the local?"

Robin was beginning to get annoyed with the emerald teen beside him, and it was starting to show.

"Who do I look like, Preacher Dimmesdale? _**Yes** I want the local!!"_

"….All riiiight."

Robin suddenly felt a chill, he didn't like that tone from Beast Boy, the only one he feared hearing it from was Batman. "Why'd you say it like that for?"

"Welllll…….. It's just that the local he uses is the kind that knocks you out, and when you're out he'll….. bunk your junk."

"Oh come on!!" The absurdity of the situation suddenly seemed lost on Robin.

"Hey man, you're the one that took the deal."

"To trade my foot for the Flying Car! Not to be molested by some mad German Scientist-!"

"-And his friends."

"WHAT?!"

"Well, when the German Scientist is done with you he lets his buddies have a go."

"Okay that is IT! Deal's off!"

"What are you Robin, some kinda Homophobe?"

"…..If by that you mean I find nothing wrong with Gays or their choice to live such and the only time I feel uncomfortable is when they take a liking to me, then _yes! **Very** yes!"_

"Need I remind you Robin that this is all for _The Flying Car?!"_

"It ain't worth it!!"

Beast boy merely shook his head and tsked. "See? This is what's wrong with this country. You're all 'Heck with this world!' All you care about is your own comfort zone, screw the rest of us. And you will forever be known as the wimpy, scrawny scumbag that could have cleared the void of 'Coming' and 'Arrived,' but instead, decided to cover his own butt-and foot-in the end."

Robin had had enough of this mockery. As he continued with his upcoming tirade, he grew more and more sarcastic, downright seething at the end. Starfire had by now awoken from her drowse to observe the conversation with Raven, who regained interest somewhere around the part about Einstein hacking people's feet off.

"ALL RIGHT ALREADY!! I'll go through. With. The deal. I'll let the German Scientist hack my foot off. Then him and his friends can have their way with me. All so I can have the dubious benefits of owning the world's first Flying Car!"

That feeling of dread Robin felt earlier returned in force with the shocked look in Beast Boys face, and just as the first words escaped the other boy's mouth, he realized that he had been set up somehow.

"…….You'd do it with a bunch of guys just for a car? I thought I knew you man."

Over the speaker's, Cyborg's rambunctious laughter safe in the tower could be heard, while inside Star's giggles were heard as well. It was all Raven could do not to laugh out loud. When she saw Beast Boy smirking at her in a rearview mirror, she remembered an old plromise he made about making her smile.

At first she was afraid he would gloat right then and there, but the only celebratory dance he did was in his eyes, right where she could see. She quickly rolled her eyes and tried to go back to her book.

"Oh man Robin! Beast Boy got you good!" Robin could just see the tears in the half metal Titan's eye. "I saw that comin' a mile away."

Robin turned to the boy beside him. "Beast Boy, where did all_ that _come from?"

"Meh, consider it payback for being such a jerk during that whole Beast incident."

Robin winced at the jab, Batman had called him the day Beast Boy first transformed, and while nothing hostile was exchange, having the Batman call always set him on edge, but that was no excuse for his actions. Stlll…

"Beast Boy… that was over two_ years _ago."

"I know, I've been leading you into a false sense of security. And trust me Robin, I could do a lot worse. So don't worry, we're even."

Cyborg's voice came over the speaker, "He's right Robin, I've seen some of his plans for other things, you got off lucky. 'Sides, we're almost home y'all!"

Looking ahead, the Titans realized that they had already gone through three intersections and were right at the light of a fourth. The Road home-off limits to all but a select few vehicles, was just beyond.

All thoughts of Mad German Scientists, Flying Cars and other topics faded away as the Titans grew silent as the T-Car drove off as the light turned green.

THE END

* * *

Well, what do ya think? I heard the dialogue from a video on YouTube-type "Tugger Munkustrap discussion" and "Taintie" into the search engine, it should be one of those-and I thought it was just _histerical_!! If someone were to make a vid set to this bit I would think that someone was a pretty cool guy. From the comments on said video, the dialogue is from the movie _Clerks_. However, don't expect the dialogue to be accurate, I have changed it in places both on purpose or on accident to either make it fit more closely with the characters, or I forgot the actual wording.

Also, yes I realize Robin was OOC in _The Beast Within_, and that nothing was done to resolve that, so I figured I'd use this chapter to deal with this. BB Doesn't seem the kind to hold a grudge for long, and I can see him doing something as simple as this to get back at Robin for something like that Interigation scene.


	5. 30 MORE Random Words

**30 MORE Random words**

Well, since the first chapter seemed to be the most popular, I'll give ya more of what you want. Also, remember number 28 in chapter one? Well, sooner or later you'll get to see that little baby all grown up!

**31 Casual**

Although he couldn't for the life of him explain why, the more Beast Boy listened to Billy Joel's _Always A Woman_, the more he thought of Terra. While the more he listened to Dana Glover's _It Is You_, the more he thought of Raven.

**32 Retreat**

After the second defeat of Slade, Robin decided the team deserved a diverting night in front of the television, more at Cyborg's begging and the observation of the low morale of the team then anything. It was the half-metal Titan's suggestion that they watch the cult classic farce Monty Python and The Holy Grail. Robin didn't see anything wrong with it. After all, any exposure to classic literature was a good thing, right? And if it got Beast Boy's mind off recent events, all the better. The younger boy's excitement at the suggestion fortified the positives of the team watching the film in question.

….That is, until one scene in particular. And from then on, whenever Robin ordered a tactical retreat, Beast Boy-and sometimes joined by Cyborg and Raven herself on one occasion-proceeded to poke at him…

_Brave Sir Robin ran away! / Bravely ran away away! / When danger reared its ugly head / He bravely turned his tail and fled! / Yes, brave Sir Robin turned about / And gallantly he chickened out! / Bravely taking to his feet / He beat a very brave retreat. / Bravest of the Braaaaaave! Sir Robin!_

**33 Honor**

Red Star sat in his apartment, watching the television without seeing it. It had been a week since Pantha had told him the news of her-no, their situation. To her surprise, he promised that he would take full responsibility for his part in the new life they inadvertently created.

_I suppose those experiments did not render her as sterile as she assumed._

Granted, he was still reeling from the revelation, and he would need time to fully adjust, but he was not like his father: He was a man of integrity and he would very well not repeat his father's mistakes. Suddenly, he heard the ringing of his Titans Communicator. Upon opening it, he saw 

that he had a message, but before he could see who it came from, he received an alert informing him that a Titan was in the area scant seconds before there was a pounding at the door.

Opening said door, he saw that it was Wildebeest at his door. Scratch that, a serious cheesed off Wildebeest at his door. Who smashed his fist into his other palm with a growl.

Red Star gulped. "Ooh-oh. I uh, don't suppose I could interest you in some coffee?"

Had the poor Russian taken the time to read his message, he would have expected the punch to his jaw infinitely more than he did, for it was from Pantha, and it said:

_Leonid! WB knows!_

_-P_

**34 Notes**

Raven walked into the Main Room at her usual time expecting the room to be in its normal state at that particular hour. Although, she was surprised to find Beast Boy of all people to be sitting on the couch wide awake, watching a movie.

However, on closer examination, she saw that he was watching the program much more intensely then was normal…for him. And he seemed to be taking…_ notes?_

"Umm… Beast Boy? What are you doing?"

With a jerk, the boy seemed to finally notice her, he paused the film currently playing so she would have his undivided attention.

"Well Raven, I'm Watching_ The Tiger Prince II: Kumi's Passé_ to see how I can fill up all the plot holes."

Raven put a hand to her temple, it was too early for this. "…Beast Boy, couldn't you just watch the movie? You don't have to fill in any missing details."

"Sorry Rae, but as I always say: There's no such thing as a Plot_ Hole_, merely a misunderstood Plot _Bunny_. And I know bunnies, you don't just leave them unattended."

Rolling her eyes and deciding that it just wasn't worth it, Raven walked over to the kitchen area and tried to go about her normal morning routine.

**35 Education**

Arrowette looked through the databank at the log entries Nightwing(AKA: Former Robin, the fact being the worst kept secret in the Super Community) had left her as the new leader of the 

Teen Titans. The first group-Robin, Raven, Starfire, Beast Boy and Cyborg-had finally decided to move on, and put together a new team to replace them: Arrowette, Prysm, Risk, Phantasm and Chris King, or 'Dial' as he wished to be called.

The only evidence that the tower was ever occupied was Robin's detailed log entries. The last of which was called "**House Rules**," no doubt the information portfolio pertaining to what went where, certain codes, and 'suggestions' from a Vet. on how to go about their task of watching a city.

The list itself held all that was expected of a young man trained by the infamous Batman, though the last item on the list, a link to an attached folder, piqued the Archery Mistresses interest.

Opening the folder, she saw that it held little real info, but what it said shocked her:

**In light of two glaring incidents involving our fellow Titans(see Files under titles "Speedshire" and "Redtha"), it is clear that interpersonal and sexual relation Education must be emphasized just as much as any crime related training. As such, arrangements have been made-as seen fit by each team's respective leader- for each team to attend…**

"Oh you have _got_ to be _kidding me!!"_

**36 Rivalry**

Garfield looked at the front page of this morning's edition of _The Gotham Post_ with a bemused smile on his face. Dick Grayson-formerly Robin and now known as Nightwing-was curious as to what the emerald nineteen-year old found so amusing.

"Gar, should I be worried?"

Glancing at him for a moment, the younger man shrugged as he exposed the front page to Bruce Wayne's ward, revealing the three photos on it: One of Starfire-from a past modeling gig-, one of Dick Grayson himself, dressed in the style befitting the adopted son of a billionaire playboy, and an admittedly grainy photo of Grayson's "other half" Nightwing.

"Tell us Mr. Grayson," Gar asked him with a smirk in a faux interviewer tone, "What's it like being your _own_ rival?"

**37 Colors**

Beast Boy and Cyborg laid back on the Tower's roof, just gazing at the stars. Raven had taken some time off to be with her mother and Robin and Starfire were off on an "Extended Patrol." In other words: A Date.

"…Hey Cy?"

"Yeah BB?"

"I'm curious… Do you still identify yourself as Black?"

**38 Looks**

Once again the Teen Titans had saved the world, this time from another Gordainian invasion. Apparently the leader of the first assault-the one that tried to retrieve Starfire when she first came to Earth-didn't enjoy his humiliating defeat by a group of 'backwater planet juveniles.' Raven had wondered why they took so long to return, but decided that she could mull it over later.

Currently, they were in a chartered limo to City Hall to meet with the Mayor for another award ceremony for a job well done. Again. But this time they were joined by their new ally Talos, who defended the city on the ground as the Titans-lead by Starfire-went into space.

At the moment, his battle armor was in what could be described as its 'stand-by' mode, where it took on an appearance more reflecting of a jungle green jumpsuit then advanced alien armor, revealing his canine-esque head, the features one would dare call feline were also detectable if one were imaginative. And at the moment he sat at the front of the cabin, his legs stretched out with his arms behind his head smirking at Raven, as though he could see something she couldn't.

That annoying facial expression seemed to grow every time she and Beast Boy bickered during their trip, and it unnerved her. She was about to call him out on it when he turned his head-still sporting that cursed look-to observe the passing scenery.

Raven decided to drop the matter for the moment, when she heard the suit's AI whispering to the alien.

_"They are just so CUTE together!"_

**39 Royalty**

Blackfire stood as she was presented in front of the Prime Citadel himself.

_Five weeks ago I was the unquestioned ruler of my people, how did I come to this?_

**40 Global**

"Dude!! I can_not_ believe you can eat that stuff! Those poor cows! Think of the cows!!"

"Look BB, in '06, scientists discovered that cows produce more Greenhouse Gases each year than all human activities _combined_. So by eating this cow, I'm doing my part to save the planet! And that's always a good thing, right?"

**41 Regime**

In the_ Guinness Book of World Records_, the record held for the shortest mutiny is held by the first incarnation of Titans East, when they attempted to usurp Bumble Bee's authority over unrecorded offences.

Their record is approximately thirteen seconds.

**42 Outcome**

Argent looked in surprise when she realized that she was surrounded, and only one thought ran through her mind:

'This can only end in one way: Total Suckage.'

**43 Showtune**

When the Titans received that call about Mumbo Jumbo taking over a Music Hall, they were expecting some sort of horrendous evil…

But they were horrified when they realized that he just wanted to sing.

_"It's the Beeeeeest Daaaaaaay Eeeeeeeeeverrrrrrrr!"_

"AHHHHHH!! Raven make him stooooop!!"

**44 Translate**

Raven walked into the Main Room to see Beast Boy and Cyborg staring slack-jawed at the screen, looking ready to be habitats for woodland creatures.

"What's with you two?"

"Uhhh…. Ya know that Cat-Girl I fought in Tokyo? I think she was a Dominatrix or somethin'."

**45 Heritage**

Raven didn't know which side of her family tree she was uncomfortable with more: That her father was Trigon the Terrible, conqueror of a thousand planes of existence, or that her mother played with Barbies until she was sixteen-which was the year that Raven was born.

**46 Bored**

"…….Anyone up for nachos?"

**48 Monopoly**

"Hey Cyborg, it is just me, or does it look like Robin gets more media attention than the rest of us do?"

**49 Detecting**

Talos always enjoyed observing these Teen Titans, if for no other reason than that they always delivered some entertainment. At the moment, he was in Metropolis following a lead, when he saw a young man who bore a striking resemblance to the Titans East archer Speedy-without the costume naturally, with a young Asian girl beside him baring a striking bone and musculature comparison to the assassin Cheshire.

_Hmmm… My Shipper-sense is tingling._

**50 Cloth**

Raven's stare seemed to intensify the longer she stood there. It was making Beast Boy uncomfortable.

"Seriously Beast Boy, where do they go?"

**51 Pub**

Sometimes Hot Spot could be so bloody _difficult!!_ If there were pubs in the general area, and she were old enough, Argent swore that that boy would turn her to drink.

**52 Heated**

Every year at Christmas, the Teen Titans and their friends and allies gathered to catch up on friends, have a good time, and enjoy each other's company.

There was also an ever growing pot secretly surrounding Beast Boy and Raven concerning their admittedly ambiguous relationship.

Argent sat beside Talos as she-and just about everybody else in the room-inconspicuously observed the couple as they bickered once again like an old married couple.

"Oh for th' love a mike. I say those two out to just go on and snog each othuh all ready."

"Heh, look who's talkin'," was Talos' enigmatic reply. Argent took on a confused expression, and was about to ask the alien what he was talking about, when he looked off and grew excited.

"Ooh! Sausage balls!!"

**53 Marital**

Starfire looked curiously at the heroine across from her.

"Seriously Pantha,_ what_ would change if you and Leonid got married?"

**54 Halls**

Beast Girl and Cat-Star walked the hallowed passageways of Titans Tower, the first Titans to truly be Generational.

**55 Consequences**

Pantha had been dreading this call. She had been ever since she learned that she was with child.

**56 Choose**

Cyborg now faced one of the most difficult choices he ever faced: Did he want the Giga Artery Clogger Burger, or the Original Artery Clogger Burger?

**57 Crush**

Cyborg watched the sole survivor of Brushogun's creations scamper off like a frightened kitten after she was caught staring at him and Bushido. …Well, more Bushido than him.

"Ya know what man? I think she likes you."

**58 Morons**

Somehow the serious meeting to organize their next heist turned into a combination Belching/Farting competition between the H.I.V.E. boys.

It was times like these when Jinx questioned her orientation of the morality scale.

**59 Prose**

Beast Boy squinted as he tried to make sense of the text before him.

"Raven, I can understand why people liked their plays' dialogue to sound pretty in Shakespeare's day. But seriously, what was wrong with writing the way people normally talk?"

**60 Entail**

Raven looked onto the crowd with thinly veiled disdain. Fanboys-and girls- of varying ages, sizes and shapes filled the convention hall to capacity. She looked to her fiancé with a slight look of disgust.

"I cannot decide what's worse: That you sold our likenesses to your cousin, or that one of those clauses in the fine print said we had to be here."

Gar only laughed nervously as he scratched the back of his head.

* * *

I should probably explain number 37: back in the comics from the 80's, Cy's mechanical parts were all white plastic. And I'm sure that if message boards existed back then as they do today, I have no doubt that cracks like this would have been common in the fandom discussions.

Even his creator, Marv Wolfman, took a shot at the design: after the Trigon the Terrible arc, Cy wanted to be alone and started hanging around the slums of New York and Harlem. Eventually, the Paparazzi found him, and cornered him asking all these questions. One of which was about why he was in the bad part of town, and if it was to-and I quote-"Reaffirm his Blackness."

As you can see, this is not new.


	6. Fax

Robin walked into the Main Room looking over a few hard copies of reports for Titans East and various Honorary Titans across the globe. He had just gotten to Red Star's summery of his encounter with Andre LeBlanc in Panama City when he heard the suspicious sounds of giggling from the main terminal.

Looking up, he saw Beast Boy and Cyborg at one of the smaller monitor screens, chortling and snorting at something that obviously amused them so very, very much. Robin by now knew better than to question what the two boys found so bloody amusing, but-ever the detective-he also knew that _not_ inquiring would drive him up the wall until he finally gave in.

Taking in a deep breath, Robin decided that getting it over with now was certainly the lesser of two evils.

"And just what do you two find so funny?"

Cyborg went rigid with a start while Beast Boy jumped three feet into the air with a scream. Turning around, the boys looked towards the Boy Wonder.

"Well? I'm waiting. What's so funny?"

Side-glancing to each other for a moment, the Duo of the Tower seemed to have a silent discussion, each one asking the other about how to handle the situation, and then answering. Finally, they seemed to come to an agreement since Beast Boy gave a slow, decisive nod before making a cough and acknowledging Robin's earlier question.

"Well dude, my cousin Matt-I've told you about him, right? Anyway, so my cousin Matt from LA sent me this email of stuff he found on the internet and… Well, Robin you just _have_ to see it for yourself!"

"Yeah man! It's all about Batman!" came his Cybernetic Comrade.

That constituted a raised eyebrow from the Junior of the Dynamic Duo. Fearing that it might be against his better judgment, Robin walked to the monitor as Beast Boy and Cyborg stepped aside to let him look unhindered.

The file he was looking at said this:

**Tru Batman Fax**

**Batman does _not_ wear a mask. That's his _face_.**

**When Batman does push-ups, he isn't pushing himself _up_, he's pushing the Earth _away_.**

**Batman has been to the Virgin Islands. Now they just call them the Islands.**

**Batman doesn't need a spacesuit. He can breathe in space.**

**Only two things can kill Superman: Kryptonite, and Batman.**

**Batman can Time Travel, just by glaring at a clock or calendar, until the date and time changes to the time desired.**

**All the mysteries of history have one answer: Batman.**

**Batman once stopped illegal immigration for sixty days, just by glaring at the Mexican border for sixty seconds.**

**Batman knows what happened to the Lost Colony of Roanoke.**

**When Chuck Norris goes to bed at night, he checks under his bed _and_ in his closet for Batman.**

**Batman is recognized by the United States government and the UN as an independent country. His chief export is pain.**

**Batman is currently suing Superman for plagiarism in his motto. The reason? 'Truth' and 'Justice' are the names of Batman's Left and Right arms, and 'The American Way' is what Catwoman has pet named their sexy-time.**

**A meteor did _not_ kill off the dinosaurs. Batman just went back in time, and got hungry.**

**Batman in reality is twelve feet tall, can breathe fire, shoot ice beams from his four eyes, has dragon wings with a thirty foot wingspan, can crumble mountains with a glare, and has diamond hard six-fingered claws. The weakly human everyone sees is just the human minds method of self-preservation in the presence of a being of pure, unadulterated awesomeness.**

**Batman does not go 'Hunting,' for this suggests a relative probability of failure. Instead, Batman goes 'Killing.'**

**Batman doesn't use guns, because he can kill someone just by pointing his finger at them and saying 'Bang.'**

**Another reason Batman doesn't use guns is because they 'give him an unfair advantage.' History has recorded this as the greatest act of mercy _ever_.**

**Batman has counted to infinity. Three times. For fun.**

**Batman once took the gallon challenge. And won.**

**Batman, Chuck Norris and Mr. T once went on vacation to France in 1940. The French thought they were with the Germans.**

**The Big Impact Hypothesis is flawed. A Mars-sized proto-planet _was_on a collision course with an early Earth. However, it didn't hit. Batman simply glared at the planetoid until it formed the moon out of fear.**

**The creators of _Avatar: The Last Airbender _were originally going to end the series with Zutara and Taang happening. Halfway through writing the final episode they got word that Batman was a Kataang and Maiko shipper. This constituted a rewrite.**

**If you take the low road, and Batman takes the high road, he'll _still_ get to Scotland before you.**

**Donna Troy is not Wonder Woman's sister. Nine months before her birth, Wonder Woman got wasted and Batman took her home.**

**There is a reason why Brainiac is a Superman villain. He didn't want to be a Batman villain.**

**We live in an expanding universe. It's all trying to get away from Batman.**

**Doomsday once tried to fight Batman. He uses Superman to vent his frustration.**

**Batman once visited Tokyo. The Japanese government commissioned a series of films to help the public cope. The result was the Godzilla franchise.**

**The Soviet Union collapsed three days after Batman's first known recorded appearance. This is not a coincidence.**

**If Darkseid and Trigon were to fight, the winner would be Batman.**

**Batman can jumpstart a car just by attaching the jumper cables to his ears.**

**Batman invented the question mark. By glaring at an exclamation point until it wilted.**

**Onions don't make Batman cry. He makes _them_ cry.**

**Some people say Batman is a Myth. There is a reason no one can find them.**

**The UN has classified Batman's glare as a WUD: a Weapon of Ultimate Destruction.**

**Batman glared in the general direction of Mars after reading H. G. Wells' _War of the Worlds_, this is why there is no life on Mars. Or in the rest of the Solar System.**

**The reason why Poison Ivy hates all men is because Batman never asked her to the prom.**

**Batman can divide by 0.**

**He can also make negative denominators.**

**If tapped, Batman's right hook could power half the planet for forty-five years.**

**Ya know why they haven't found Bin Laden? Because Batman got to him first. So far they've only found his big toe. …They think.**

**Global Warming doesn't exist. You know why? Because Batman says so.**

**Sticks and Stones may break your bones, but the Bat-Glare is a fate worse than death.**

There was a long pause as Robin gazed at the words on the screen before him. In the meantime Beast Boy and Cyborg began to look at each other rather nervously, worried about how this would go.

But then, they saw it. One corner of Robin's mouth twitched, then briefly rose up before Robin-with seemingly herculean effort-forced it down, only for the twitching to continue until his whole mouth seemed to spaze. Then, without a word but a 'hmm', Robin turned around and walked out of the room.

As the doors cycled closed, the other two boys heard a loud snort, and after the doors had sealed shut, they heard a gut-busting laugh that was obviously their leaders'. In response, Beast Boy and Cyborg turned to each other and gave each other a high five, whooping in triumph.

THE END

Well, for one thing I'd like to thank StoryWeaver and Churnok for reviewing so often, it's nice to know that at least _someone_ is willing to admit that they read my garbage. ^_^

Hmmmm……. Maybe part of the problem is that I've not disclaimed yet. Either way, I'll go ahead and do that:

I do not own anything in these stories, unless I state otherwise. Thank you.


	7. Hand

**Hand**

_"No... Oh no no no NO! I… I didn't mean to do that! I…It's not my fault! It's hers! She jumped at me! What else was I suppose to do?!"_

_"**You will BURN for that!!"**_

_"**RAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"**_

_"Get 'im!"_

_"Kill it!!"_

_"Please! I said I didn't MEAN to!!"_

_"RAAAAH!!!"_

_"Why are you making me!? WHY!?"_

_"RAAAAAAAKurkgh-!"_

_A beam of crimson light cauterizes the wounds it makes, but vaporizes the organs._

_Oh man!_

_"WHY!? You're, you're ruining EVERYTHING!!"_

_A desperate, untrained kick shatters bone._

_"AAAARGH!!"_

_"You're ru-ruining…"_

_A punch shatters a crystal body as though made of fragile leaves._

_"AHHHH!!"_

_"ME!!"_

_Gotta stop him, before he kills everyone. Don't know how…_

_"You're making me like YOU!!!"_

_A young man's body is bisected by a sheet of red._

_"BUSHIDO!!"_

_But I've gotta try. I'm behind him. He doesn't know I'm here. I can hear Bushido's halves tumbling on the ground behind me. I jump, put him in a chock hold. He grabs my arm, I hear the sounds of twigs breaking. Above his arm the limb looks fine, below too, aside from the odd angle. It's ice in his hand, looks like tissue._

_"Let… GO!!"_

_The sound of tearing flesh is a wet paper box being torn apart._

_"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"_

"Hotspot! Wake up! Wake _up_! Honey please! It's okay!"

Hotspot thrashed in the bed, screaming through the void of slumber and wakefulness. Chalk pale hands tried to hold him down. Finally, the super-powered young man powered down as he awoke, gasping for breath.

"Ar-Argent?"

The British woman sighed in relief as her boyfriend finally woke up, a hand instinctively placed itself over her heart, and the stylized crimson A on her chest.

"Good Morning handsome, or night rather."

Looking around, the African-American noticed that-first-he was in a darkened hospital room, and second, that it was, indeed, night. The only light visible came from the sparse strands of softly glowing green and red Christmas lights and through the lowered blinds were the streetlights who knew how many stories below, the sounds of traffic less than one would expect for a city.

How long had he been out? Last he recalled it wasn't even noon, and he and the other Titans were responding to an emergency call from Superboy.

"What happened? Last I remember was that we were in Smallville to help Superboy and-."

Ivory fingers graced his lips as Argent shushed him.

"You were hurt pretty bad Isaiah, you were lucky not to be hurt worse."

"What do you mean Toni? I feel… fine."

Only after she mentioned it did Hotspot notice that something about his right arm seemed… off. There was a dull ache around where his hand should have been, but looking to his side, he realized that the lump in the sheets that indicated where his arm was ended a good ten or so inches sooner than it should have. A quick tug removed the blanket, showing that…

…His arm was gone.

Not his whole arm, mind you, but it did end in a stump four inches below the elbow, all of it was bandaged.

It took Hot Spot several agonizing seconds for his mind to comprehend what his eyes were telling it, his other hand moved to where its partner should have been, before slowly laying where the bandages covered the gore. The world seemed to vanish as he saw visions of a teenage boy in a Superman costume rampaging through an idealic small town, of chunks of debris-and people- being flung left and right. Visions of fire, of blood and of death.

"-ut there was nothing they could do. I'm sorry Hot Spot."

"Huh? What? I'm sorry Argent, I guess I blacked out." Shouldn't he be more upset about this? His freakin' _arm_ was gone dang it! And yet he felt _nothing_.

The pale woman at his bedside had a wave of worry gracing her countenance, but she cast it away and repeated herself.

"I said, the doctors tried to reattach your arm, but it was too damaged." She put her hand on Hotspot's-his only hand. "I am so sorry."

Ignoring the numbness in his heart, Hot Spot squeezed her hand. "How is everyone? How did we survive?"

The other hybrid sighed in a cross between sorrow and relief.

"Well, Kid Flash and the other Flashes grabbed that Super-Psycho and took 'im… Somewhere. That's 'ow we survived… Well, those of us that _did_ at least. Wildebeest was dead almost instantly obviously, though in the confusion of the aftermath I'm afraid we've lost track of 'is body." She took a deep breath through her nose, sucking on her lower lip before continuing.

"…Bushido's death was probably the most 'orrific, poor Neko's been in 'er own little world for hours now."

She looked out the window across the room and into the hallway outside. When Hotspot joined her gaze, he saw the pink female Villainess-come-Heroine Cat-Girl, with her knees up to her chest in the fetal position, a cup of what he suspected to be now ice cold coffee held limply in her hand as she seemed to stare off at something only she could see, thousands of miles away.

Hotspot almost dreaded the question he now had, "How're Risk and Prysm? And Red Star? After seeing Pantha go down like that, it must be hard."

"Well, Risk has a broken hip and femur, but he should be fine, and thanks to her unique physiology, Prysm's pulling 'erself together."

A wry smile crossed Argent's mouth, "Actually you guys and Pantha were the lucky ones, she's in the ICU with a broken neck. The doctors say that if she got hit full in the face with 'is fist, 'er 'ead would've gone flying. Though, she's gonna need physical therapy when she pulls through. …But how are you? You did wake up screaming."

Hotspot looked away from her face as she came around the bed to embrace him. He looked to his stump, running his remaining hand along the bandages.

"Okay I guess." His mouth drew itself into a thin line. "…But, I know I'm supposed to be a little more, shocked I guess, at… At _this_. But I feel sorta… Meh."

Argent sighed as she held her boyfriend tighter, "It probably hasn't quite sunk in yet, the doctors did say amputees sometimes experience shock."

"Yeah, great." Looking at the ivory arms holding him, Hot Spot noticed the gold, diamond-studded band now adorning Argent's left ring finger. "I see you've made your decision Toni."

Argent quickly looked at her hand with a slight smile on her lips, having almost forgotten the ring was there.

"Oh! Yes, I did." She thought he'd be happy, but with the frustrated grunt from the young man beside her as he turned away, to say she was surprised-and a bit hurt- was a bit of an understatement. "What? What is it? I thought you'd be 'appy, I _did_ leave you 'anging."

"I know Toni, I know. It's just that, I want you to marry me for me, not out of pity because I've suddenly become Left Handed!"

"What?! _Pity_!? Isaiah I made my choice three days ago! _Long_ before, all _this_!"

That was news, and the confusion on Hot Spot's face showed it, "Shuwhuh!? Why didn't you say anything?"

Argent rolled her eyes in exasperation, in a sort of 'oh the idiocy of males' fashion. "Well, with all the world going to pieces, my love-life sorta took a backseat."

Had anyone else been present, they would have laughed at the dumbfounded expression on Hotspot's face.

Though when he thought about it, he realized that Argent had a point: All the Villains from around the world were uniting, magic was out of whack from what he heard-something about a ghost or somesuch, an interstellar war was raging up in the stars that could easily include Earth at any time, laser beams were raining down on Heroes and Villains alike at random from an evil satellite up in the heavens, Wonder Woman was being accused of _killing_ a man, Bludhaven got nuked, the Justice League's Satellite blew up not even two days ago, several Heroes had gone missing over the past few weeks, and now some crazed Psycho-Teen with delusions of grandeur about being Superman-and the powers to back it up-had laid up half of the Teen Titans in the hospital! Two of which were _dead_! …Crap, they _had_ been busy, hadn't they?

Hot Spot suddenly realized that he now held his girlfrie-no, _fiancé's_ hand in his own, fingering the ring still on her finger. And next he realized that the ache in his now non-existent hand was less, and he actually felt something his heart, a warm something that he dared called Happy.

"Hotspot? You've awful quiet. What are you thinkin' about?"

The Pyrokinetic looked up at her, a somewhat unreadable expression on his face. He looked at her for a moment before smiling a bittersweet smile.

"Not much Argent, not really. …I just realized something though," He looked to his stump, "I'm twenty-six years old, and I've seen and lived through more stuff that most people could ever dream of in twenty-six lifetimes." He rubbed his bandaged arm, the sudden-and odd-feeling of inadequacy surrounding the limb crushing his ability to speak. "But…. I, I don't…"

Argent cupped his cheek in her hand and she turn his head towards her, so that he would look her in the eye, a curious-yet somehow knowing-look in her features, "Hot Spot, are you saying that you don't think you deserve me, after… today?"

Boy, did he know how to pick a woman. That was it to a T, and the sudden aversion of his eyes proved it.

Argent rolled her eyes again, though this time with a slight smile on her face.

"C'mon, you think I'd let you sit at 'ome with a 'andicap while I went out into the field alone? Pft! As if! Hot Spot, as long as you're willing, we'll find a way for you to stay on your game. Don't tell me you've forgotten why they call Victor Stone 'Cyborg.'"

Hotspot gave out an almost unexpected chuckle at himself, how often did they forget that Cyborg was roughly ninety percent machine? And still the boy had found his place in the world and had become a man through it. He rubbed his bandages again as Argent placed her hand over his, he felt the woman's face so near his own, he could vaguely smell her shampoo under the sweat and grime as she nuzzled him, she must not have showered yet, even though she must have been a mess after the battle. The thought filled him both with concern for her well being, as well as touched by her concern for him.

He was interrupted from his musings by a knock at the door, where an admittedly unremarkable man stood. He was of average height clothed in a non-formal suit of what Hot Spot would call 'Retro-Sixties' in origin, with brown hair that was beginning to grey at the temples, an extinguished pipe in hand.

"Umm, hello. Hotspot is it? I'm terribly sorry to intrude… Umm, I'm not interrupting something am I?"

Suddenly realizing the potentially compromising position that they were in, Argent quickly stood up, slightly annoyed at the intrusion.

"Yes, well, uhh, what can we do you for Mister…?"

"Oh! I'm sorry. I tend to be a bit scatter-brained at times," the man gave a polite cough to banish any lingering awkwardness before properly introducing himself. "I am Doctor William Magnus"

"He's here to help Hotspot with getting a prosthetic. He even has a few preliminary designs with a few features you may find interesting. That is, if you want it."

The couple turned suddenly to see a woman with eyes as violet as her shoulder length hair, clad in an ivory cloak and what at one point may have been a white sleeved leotard, though legs were added that ended in pseudo-bellbottoms, a stylized abstract outline of a baby powder blue raven in flight was emblazoned across her chest, the stick-like Justice League communicator hung at her hip next to the more familiar Teen Titans communicator.

"I asked Raven to see if she could find someone who had expertise with Metahuman robotics." Argent offered in a whisper.

Hot Spot seemed a little put on the spot, but he still had the presence of mind to start the inquiries.

Meanwhile, Argent saw Raven give a quick but subtle jerk of her head, requesting her to step out for a moment, after giving her fiancé a gentle squeeze of the hand and a quick kiss on the cheek, Argent stepped out of the room.

Once the door was closed, Raven was straight to the point. "So. How is he? You know, about his arm."

Argent took a deep breath and released it in a sigh before answering, her eyes never leaving Hot Spot as he conversed with Dr. Magnus within.

"He might be in shock, but that's to be expected I suppose. Before he woke up he was writhing and screaming. He may have been having a nightmare."

"That's not surprising, all things considered." Said the other woman as she stood next to the other Titan. "If you want, J'onn and I can schedule a therapy regiment."

"Thank you." Argent turned to Raven, "Is there anything else?"

"Actually yes. We just got word that the Society is amassing in Metropolis, everyone who's ever worn a cape and able to fight is asked to join the Army and National Guard forces to help fight them off. Think you can make it?"

Raven looked into the hospital room at the patient inside once more before looking to Argent again from the corner of her eye, "No one would think any different of you for staying though."

From the corner of her eye, Argent saw Red Star wearily kneeling next to Neko, saying something that she couldn't hear. But from the cold, flinty look of pure murder in her eyes as she crushed the paper cup in hand, it was obvious what the topic of discussion was.

"No. My place is here." Argent turned to face an unsurprised though pleased Raven full in the face, "If the Society of Villains comes 'ere, then I'll fight 'ere, but I won't leave Hot Spot alone in his hour of need."

"That's probably for the best then."

"Good luck Raven, give them a good punch for me will ya?"

"Of course."

And with that, Raven turned around a walked down the hallway.

"Oh! And Raven!" When the other woman turned, Argent gave a smug smile, "I saw Gar's new outfit, and I must say: I think it is just the cutest that the two of you match!"

With that the two women laughed as Raven turned the corner. Meanwhile, Argent's face sobered as she put a hand on the doorknob. With one last sigh she turned it and entered the room.

* * *

I had actually started typing this way back in June, but I sorta ran low on steam about half-way through. I'd like to thank KTHunter for Betaing parts of it.

This story is dedicated to Tari Silmarwen, mostly in thanks for her Redtha story, but also in part for putting up with my thinly-veiled Anti-Kataang/Maikoness.

For those of you not in the know, this story takes place during my version of a TTAS adaptation of the _Infinite Crisis_ Mini-Series. More specifically after the "Kansas Massacre" in issue four. Obviously I changed a few things, cheif among them being that Pantha lives. (In the original version, Geoff Jones-the writer-had the new antagonist Superboy-Prime-a Superboy from a now non-existant alternate earth-punch Pantha in the face a litterally knocked her head off. And that's terrible)

As for Wildebeest: don't worry, I still have a few plans left for him that take place after this.

Hopefully I'll one day be able to write the entire adaptation of the _Crisis_.

Also, if you don't know what I mean about BB's costume, before the One Year Leap(the event right after _Infinite Crisis_ where every title jumped ahead a year), BB wore an awesome uniform that was mostly white with some purple along the sides and across the back under his arms. And with my version of Future Raven's uniform, it's also mostly white. Dating couples can't get away with matching outfits. Married folks can. ^_^

And if you're wondering what happens with StupidBrat-Punk(I mean, Superboy-Prime) in my version... Check out the discription of Neko with Red Star, it's a hint. ^_^


	8. Master And Commander

**Master And Commander**

After the Series Finale _Things Change_, I felt compelled to write a Fan Season Six that would've focused on Starfire, had the Gordanians as the Big Bad, and resolved what happened to Blackfire after her last episode. It would've established Starfire as not the sickly-sweet goody-goody(though there's no denying that that's a major portion of her character), and would've not only shown but explored her Warrior Princess side. Essentially what we saw in the first half of _Go_. It also would've involved Talos, who has been featured in the last _Random Words _list, even though it ran the major risk of turning him into a Gary-Stu, which isn't helped by his being a major support character in my fanon.

Fortunately! My procrastination has prevented that. Instead, I'll only be referring to that Fan Season and its major events. This chapter involves what happens to Trogaar, who would've been motivated by Revenge, one of the Classic Villain Motive Archetypes. Another chapter(either the next one or later on) will summarize Talos and his character. Feel free to skip that if you wish, though I think it would be worth reading, since it also involves that "Tara School Girl" from_ Things Change_, should you be interested.

Also: Props to RabulaTasa for Betaing for me.

* * *

**_Third Planet of the Omega System, of the Vegan Star Cluster System_**

The Hall of the Citadelians had stood for almost a billion years, constructed of the finest stone, polished to a mirror finish, with trimming made of the purest gold, and plush burgundy carpet stretching from wall to wall. Self-powered noble gas light rods along the ceiling and columns bathed the halls and rooms of the sprawling palace in gentle white light, or any other color should the individual wish.

At the end of the main hall stood a granite doorway, easily some thirty feet tall. It was flanked on either side by three guards, each some seven feet tall, and heavily muscled. Armed with blaster-spears, their orange and red armor plating covered much of their tough blue-skinned bodies from view, making them seem more like lifeless automatons than vigilant sentries. Their helmets and visors all but concealed the bald-headed brutes heads, leaving only their perpetually drooling mouths and chins exposed, hinting at their mentally deficient status. These were members of the Citadel race, and personal bodyguards to the Prime Citadel himself, their leader and originator.

Behind the door that the Elite Guard stood by was the Answering Chamber, where the Prime Citadel held court and plotted his schemes for conquest. It was a large rectangular chamber with a high vaulted ceiling, and water features at either side of the main entryway, the floor tiled with fine marble, and ancient works of art lined the walls, all from each conquered planet of the Citadelian empire, which consisted of almost all twenty-five planets in the Vegan System, as well as numerous other systems beyond in the sector.

At the far end of the chamber sat the Prime Citadel himself, seated upon a fine throne of Cintarian jewel-inlaid gold, ivory from the bones of the carnivorous Pacwail of the Aquarinian gas giant's oxygen seas, and upholstered in wine red corduroy. Unlike the rest of his race, Prime's smug countenance hinted at an advanced intellect that calculated all possible outcomes, even as events happened around him, and his unshielded and pupiless eyes glowed with their own ivory light. According to intergalactic legend, the Citadel was the result of Psion experimentation involving the interbreeding of two rival species in the Vegan System. The child born would one day become the Prime Citadel, who would go on to not only enslave his creators, but also use their technology to clone mentally retarded versions of himself, and use his army to conquer not only the Gordanians, but eventually the entire Vegan System and most of the sector, placing the Prime Citadel second only to the Guardians of the Universe of the Green Lantern Corps in galactic influence. Currently there were no guards within, hinting to all that came to petition the being on the throne that they were even less in his presence, that he required no guard, no Ubu present to protect him, only his Psion majordomo.

"Bring forth the wayward warrior." Prime called out in an even, bored but authoritative voice, the command echoing in the vast chamber.

Seconds later, a gate opened on the side of the room, and two Gordanian marines part lead, part dragged another male specimen of their species, his wrists bound in strong manacles, a subdued though enraged expression on his reptilian countenance. Once the escort and their prisoner reached the foot of their mighty ruler's dais, they forced the captive onto his knees to bow before the Prime Citadel.

"Oh Trogaar…" the dictator stated with a sigh, "I believe this is the second time you've come before me after a defeat, though I suppose this time it is under more… Oh how should I put this? Humiliating, circumstances perhaps? May I ask why you've willingly ignored at least eight major peace treaties, embezzled almost a hundred million credits, and misused a_ Crusher-_Class War Cruiser (which has been destroyed), a full legion of troops (most of whom can no longer be battle ready for the near future), twelve squadrons of my best fighters (all of which are damaged beyond repair at best), and unleashed our no-longer secret Bio-Weapon (which was not only illegal to possess, but we officially were not developing), all to fund an unauthorized invasion of a Class Zero Civilization planet in some backwater quadrant of the galaxy of absolutely no strategic value?"

His tone was firm, but all present could feel the contained fury behind those ice cold words.

Ex-Commodore Trogaar took in and released a deep breath before looking to his superior.

"I wished to… re-educate some former adversaries on Earth, as well as reclaim your prize from the Tameranian campaign. Great One."

There was a pause as the Prime took a datapad from an aid and looked over its information, quoting where necessary.

"Really? Well it couldn't be the so-called Justice League, since you've never been in combat against them. It must then be these 'Teen Titans' that beat you two years ago. The same group of 'local Juveniles' that you somehow managed to get a Level Alpha round the clock surveillance system to observe ever since without authorization."

"They made me look like a fool! I had to-!"

"_Don't_, interrupt me Trogaar." Prime stated in mid-tiraid, effectively silencing the now standing defendant. "As to that 'prize' Koryand'r, frankly I couldn't care less for possessing a prize slave, even if she is a princess. That wasn't my idea, therefore not my concern when she eventually escaped."

The Prime Citadel slumped in his seat, pinching the bridge of his nose as though it would relieve the migraine beginning to pound behind his eyes. And as he spoke, the volume of his voice slowly crept up until the guards on the other side of the door could hear him.

"I realize that pride is an important virtue for you Gordanians, but in my considerable lifetime, I have noticed on more than one occasion that it is a very costly virtue at best. For example: your little stunt? It has gathered more attention from the Guardians than I really need right now, forcing_ me_ to delay all of _my_ plans until I've kissed enough butt to get them off my back again.

"And second? All those resources you've rerouted for your little tantrum? Those credits you used for those bizarre experiments and hiring that bounty hunter J'ululius Drac, those troops, fighters and that ship? They've depleted my overall resources_ just_ enough to delay my plans for a Rann and Thanagar war, when I_ could have_ carried out that objective months ago! The most brilliant minds outside the Lantern Corps, and the finest warriors in the cosmos could be under my command now! Now I can't even do it until the Guardians are preoccupied, all because of _you Trogaar!"_

During the scolding, Prime had leaned forward, slamming a large fist onto the arm of the throne at the end. Trogaar, to his credit, left his reaction to merely cringing and turning his face away. Seconds clicked by as Prime sucked in long, deep breaths through clenched teeth to help himself calm down. After several tense seconds, Prime leaned back into his throne, taking in a deep breath with closed eyes, one hand raised to his temple to message it.

"Trogaar. I am about to enlighten you to some of my plans. Over the past nine months, I have begun a series of events, life and policy changes that would construct a much more positive image of myself in the eyes of the universe as a whole, so that I may garner support later on. An image that is hurt if I were to have my subordinates going around willy-nilly and wasting resources on honor avenging campaigns that are doomed to fail from the beginning. It makes me seem like I either have no control over my own forces, or that I also lack the ability to discipline said forces."

Prime's expression turned smug again as his voice grew chillingly baleful, "So I'm sure you can understand if I choose not to merely imprison you Trogaar. Especially now that I'm a family man…" he looked over his shoulder to a figure who remained unseen in shadow until now. "Is that not so my dear Cidella?"

"Oh I agree whole-heartedly Citadel." came the reply from a dark, silky voice that seemed to purr with dark amusement.

The shadowy figure walked out into the light, revealing feminine curves wrapped in dark violet velvet robes tailored tightly to her body, slit to the hip on either side to reveal long, bare footed and sun-kissed skin legs, the left one adorned only with a single silver anklet. A ruby and emerald encrusted tiara, carved from the pure mother-of-pearl of a Man-Of-War Oyster from the ocean world of Khalamarai, lay embedded in her midnight hair. The lovely features of her face were marred only by a faded scar that crossed the bridge of her nose horizontally, under her deep indigo eyes, though it hardly seemed to detract from the picture as a whole.

From their position on the floor, the eyes of the Gordanian guards widened in surprise as Trogaar gasped at the sight of the missing Princess Blackfire stand to the right of their ruler's throne and drape an arm on its back as the other rested on a curved hip, a smug expression that mirrored the Prime who now gazed upon her.

"Cidella, my love," said Prime with what seemed true affection as he gestured towards the dishonored commander at his feet, "What do you think we should do with this trash that would be fitting his crimes? After all, Koryand'r is_ your_ sister."

Blackfire, or Cidella as she seemed to wish being known now, hummed thoughtfully as she rubbed her cheek in thought. In hopes that it may assist his plight, Trogaar grinned pleadingly at the princess that now seemed to be his queen.

It was for naught though.

"Toss him in the arena. Let him fight for his freedom against the Kai-Zhang." She offered, as though offering the prisoner sugar for his tea.

The guards at Trogaar's back visibly cringed at the sentence. For all knew of the house-sized creature native to the Okaraan home world, with its eighty venom secreting tentacles and acid saliva, as well as the fact that Prime had the creature fed adequately enough to keep it healthy and in strength, but also starved it enough to make it unstoppable.

Even the Prime Citadel himself seemed surprised. "Cidella that hardly seems fitting his crimes."

Blackfire sighed in exasperation. "Very well, he'll be armed…"

Trogaar smiled and gasped in joy, restraining himself enough not to shout in his euphoria._ 'I have a chance to live! To regain my pride and place in life!'_

The poor demented fool.

"-With a THX Eleven-Eight blaster rifle!" Blackfire shouted with a malicious grin upon her features.

This time, both the guards and Trogaar gasped in horror at the command.

One must understand, the THX-118 was universally considered the worst weapon of not only the THX line, but in all military history. The weapon had poor accuracy, a slow rate of fire by even Earth military standards, and not only had a tendency to jam, but sometimes a round-especially a jammed one-would often explode in the barrel. And since its magazine carried some thirty plasma rounds, and each one had the equivalent firepower of twenty tons of TNT, the weapon was often seen as a suicide piece.

It was often said among the Gordanian grunts that between two dueling warriors, one armed with just claws and the other with a THX-118, the one with claws won. They were not joking.

In response to this, Prime sat back in his throne with an expression to match his wife's. _"Much _better." was his sole reply.

"Well I believe that is all for now," the Citadellian Queen decried as she walked around to the other side of the throne, "take him away."

The two guards looked at each other warily for a brief second before lifting the stunned Trogaar from the floor, who then began blubbering and begging for mercy and forgiveness until he vanished behind the door that lead to the gladiatorial arenas, to have his sentence carried out.

In the silence after the doors slammed shut, Blackfire sat in her lover's lap, much to his pleasant surprise, crossing a bare leg over the other.

"So, how'd I do Prime?" the former princess asked, feigning examination of the nails on one hand before buffing them.

Prime laughed to himself. "In a word my dear? Exquisitely, much like yourself. I honestly couldn't think of a better way of dealing with Trogaar myself."

"You shall make a wonderful empress Blackfire," he continued, holding her chin in his large hand, a smug yet affectionate smile upon his lips, "How I've gone this far without you, I can scarcely conceive."

Blackfire cupped her husband's face in her hand, her own affectionate expression on her face as well, "Flatterer."

"It's true though. You will make a wonderful leader. The Tameranians lost a wondrous leader when they lost you."

Blackfire sighed in resignation. "Perhaps. But then, Galfore would also make a suitable ruler. He's brave, he's a master strategist, and I know that he cares for the people. He practically raised me and Starfire after all."

"This is true." Prime conceded, "But I've noticed that he lacks the finesse of a diplomat. I could see him walking away from the negotiation table feeling he's won, and not realize what a horrible deal he got hours, days or even months after the fact."

This received a laugh from Blackfire as she cuddled closer into Prime's embrace, "Well that's assuming that there's someone left to be one the other side of that table after the fighting."

"Touché my dear."

Prime looked into Blackfire's eyes, and she into his for a moment's pause. "Majordomo!" He called to the Psion some twenty yards away, not looking away from his wife for an instant, "Do I have anything else planned for the day?"

The glorified secretary looked to his datapad for a moment, examining its contents. There were a few things, but nothing that required Prime's immediate attention. "No, your excellency."

"Very good," was his response as he picked up Blackfire in a Bride's Carry. "Make sure it remains that way, I think we have other activities that are more beneficial to our time."

With that, the Prime Citadel and his Queen Blackfire, known only to the rest of the universe as Cidella, exited the Answering Chamber and into their private quarters. And would not be seen again until late the next morning.

The majordomo just shook his head and exited to his office. There was a mountain of paperwork he needed to get done.

* * *

Well how about that? Sorry for the long wait between posts. I've got at least one other chapter half written, but I've sorta gotten stuck. That, and this year's Spring Semester was painful: My History II teacher expected us to be scholars, even though most-if not none-of us were History Majors. Over the course of the semester, we had to write eight, five-to-seven page papers based on essay readings we read that week as well as discussions on those readings. Oh, and they were due the next Monday.

Now don't get me wrong, now that I've gone through with it I'm glad that I did it all, but it wasn't fun I'll tell you right now.

Anyways, I think Blackfire would make a great Manifest Destiny Empress beside the Citadel. Mostly 'cause the whole idea of her being the princess of a conquered people(that she helped on the inside by the way), and he being the ruler of those who conquered them, makes for real steamy, Zutara-esque romance. ^_^

In the comics, the Citadel empire got broken pretty early in Wolfman and Perez' run on New Teen Titans, but I think they could make some interesting space stories somewhere down the road. Dunno when, but somewhere.

I've not read that portion of the run-I'm not even sure that my personal collections even goes that far back-so I've made many personal interpretations of the Prime Citadel. For one thing, since he rules such a vast interstellar empire, I'd say that he's a charismatic, pragmatically tyrannical Fascist, a sort of a cross between Mongol, another DC Space Militant, David Xanatos, the ingenious planner of Gargoyles fame and I see as voiced by the same guy, and a young Adolf Hitler. You know, before he went and started WWII, and went rabid Bat-Guano insane on the gypsies and Jews, and back when he was a scarily persuasive speaker and half-way seemed to kinda know what he was doing. If you turned your head and squinted, and drunk three sheets to the wind.

And yes, I _have_ pondered the idea of a separate story involving how Blackfire got into the Prime Citadel's possesion and their courtship, but that may take some time for two reasons: I'm really bad about getting down and writing stuff, and it seems like the kind of story that involves dialogue with at _least_ three layers of potential meanings, and I'm not that good at it.

Though I can offer a Star Wars AU story to anyone interested where such an element is not only portrayed in spades, but _exceptionally_ well at that.


	9. Mystery Girl

**Mystery Girl**

Speedy ran the comb through his hair a few more times, running a finger through it one more time to get the desired effect. Roy Harper- ward to Oliver Queen and former sidekick, sorry, ahem, _partner_ of Green Arrow-didn't like messing with his preferred hair-do. Especially considering all the gels, mousses, moisturizers, shampoos and conditioners it took to get his hair ready to be combed_ just _so and still retain its style even through the roughest missions-famous individuals such as Donald Trump, Superman and many anchormen across the globe were his idols in terms of Hair Style Durability. But, for the sake of the almighty Secret Identity, sacrifices had to be made.

The Teen Archer opened his closet, looking over his vast collection of clothing, mentally running over all the articles in his wardrobe, calculating and weighing all the possible combinations for each individual shirt, jacket, pants, scarf, belt, pairs of socks and/or shoes, even the articles of undergarments. He may have been willing to sacrifice his hair, but he would be cursed to Hades-or an hour listening to one of Robin or Bumblebee's lectures-before he made himself out to be some sort of unfashionable slob.

Some people would call this vanity. Some people are stupid.

After roughly thirty minutes of grueling debate(_Red Shirt with Black Jacket? Or Black Shirt with Red Jacket?_), consideration(_Dark Blue Pants from Wal-Mart? Or Navy Pants from Macy's?_) and mental committee hearings(_Should this Baseball Hat be worn forwards or backwards? Would a Beret be a better choice? Should sunglasses be worn with a hat? Would it be better to go without a hat? Would the Hair be negatively affected by the presence of Cranial Wear of any sort?_), Speedy finally completed his attire for the evening.

Why all the fuss? Because Roy Harper had a date with a very lovely young lady friend, and now he was off to the garage…

He just had to get through the Tower undetected.

His first stop was to be the Main Room to check the security screens, to see who was where in the building. However, when he opened the door, he saw that he wouldn't need to check the cameras after all, since everyone was already there. Bumblebee was at the main terminal doing… Super Hero Leader stuff, Mas y Menos were playing Ping Pong with each other near the edge of the platform-literally, one of them would hit the ball, then they would run at superspeed to the other end where the other would hit said ball-and Aqualad was at the conference table, reading the paper.

_'Crap! Uhh… Maybe they didn't see me-.'_

"Hey there Speedy." Bumblebee said after a quick glance over her shoulder before returning to whatever it was she was doing.

_'Double crap!!'_

"We've not seen you all afternoon," called Aqualad from the table as he turned a page.

Meanwhile, the Spanish Twins ceased their game and ran over to the 'Rebellious Older Brother' of the team.

"Buena pena Speedy, usted parece agudo." Said Mas as he fingered the jacket.

"¿Usted consiguió una fecha a la noche?" added Menos, drawing out certain words like some sort of smug insinuation.

Deciding that discretion was the better part of valor, Speedy decided to avoid as much of the 20 Questions of the Spanish Inquisition that was Bumblebee's ire as he could. He turned around to exit where he came as he called out an adapted version of his nightly plans. It worked for Ollie, right?

"Be back later Bumblebee, I'm headin' out for the night."

"Oh really?" came the clipped reply. Bumblebee seemed ticked.

_'Triple Crap!!'_

Bumblebee crossed her arms over her chest, turning around to place him fully under her gaze. "Out with your little 'Mystery Girl', right? This is the third time this week you've run off, and the twelfth time in the past two months and we have yet to meet this girl! You haven't even told us anything about her. Just snuck out, and snuck back in a few hours later."

Yep. Hurricane Bumblebee was most certainly a Category Five.

Either way, Speedy saw this as another exaggeration… Like with almost anything he was blamed for. "Look, she's not a 'Mystery Girl'!" he said, using air quotes to emphasize his point.

"Oh?" she rplied. "Then what's her name?"

"I don't have to tell you anything! You're not my mom!"

Bumblebee's only response was an exaggerated roll of the eyes. After which Mas y Menos were suddenly on each of Speedy's shoulders.

"Esta Bonita?" They inquired ribbingly.

A sweatdrop was their only answer. "Uh… What?"

Speedy shook his head in frustration. He was starting to run late, so he might as well just give an inch and hope they didn't demand a mile. "All right!_ Fine! _If you must know, her name's Jade okay?"

Bumblebee cocked an eyebrow. "Oh? So is there anything else we should know about 'Jade'?"

But before Speedy could think of a proper sarcastic response, he was interrupted by Mas y Menos as they ran around him in circles at superspeed, singing sing-song all the while._ "¡Speedy tiene una novia! ¡Speedy tiene una novia! ¡Speedy tiene una novia-!"_

Until Speedy stuck out his foot and tripped the speed-twins, who subsequently cried out in surprise and smashed into the wall with a loud crash.

"Oops." Speedy said, hardly apologetic.

"Ugh! Aqualad!" Bumblebee groaned, "Can you talk to him please?"

Aqualad looked up from his paper at Speedy, and after a moments consideration, gave this command: "…Just be back by Lock Down." And went back to his paper.

Speedy gave a cocky, smug sort of grin at his fellow Eastern. "Sure 'Dad'." And out the door he was.

" Oy." Bumblebee sighed in exasperation. As she went to check on the twins, she spoke to Aqualad.

"You know Aqualad, I could've used your help back there."

"What did you want me to do?" He asked as he turned a page, "Chain him to the table?"

"You know what I mean," she said as she placed Mas y Menos each in a chair, "If he wants to have a relationship with a civilian, then we ought to know everything he does,_ when_ he does."

"So we can run his life and stalk his girlfriends?"

Bumblebee glared at Aqualad's peeking eyes from his half-joking insinuation.

"_No._ So that we can run a background check on her. What if she's one of the Bad Guys? Or at least working for one. And even if she's not, it would still be nice to know details about her in case she's a target."

"Hmmm… Perhaps. Personally I don't see what all the fuss is about. In Atlantis he'd already be married, at least."

His teammates all looked at him in surprise.

"Really?" was the only reply a wide-eyed Bumblebee could make. "Even…"

"Even me? Yep. I try to call Dolphin at least once a day. …Oh! That reminds me: She's due next month. Can I have some time off around then?"

Several slow seconds ticked by as Bumblebee and Mas y Menos' jaws dropped like eight-ton weights to the floor.

"Wait, hold up…" Stumbled Bumblebee as she struggled to jump-start her brain again, "You mean to tell me that you're not only_ married_, but you're also going to be a_ Daddy?!_ What the _HECK?!?!_"

Mas y Menos turned to each other, "Ai yi yi…"

"Aqualad es un jugador rápido."

"Why didn't you_ tell_ us?!"

Aqualad folded the paper and placed it on the table's surface before he turned to his teammates to reply.

"You didn't ask."

_Al's Grill and Wings_ was built in what had once been the suburbs of Steal City back in the Fifties, intended as a restaurant for the young families during the Baby Boom. Opened at Seven-Thirty, closed at Nine, Monday through Thursday, open 'til eleven on Fridays, closed on weekends. As the years passed, the families stopped coming, but the teens that remembered the place continued, and as more years passed, the 'Cool Older Kids' brought their younger siblings and their friends either before going to college, or on their breaks, and these new kids continued to come do to a sense of self-evident 'coolness' attached to the place. Eventually, the emphasis changed from Young Families to Young People.

However, Al was a smart man, and knew that part of the reason his customers returned was the sense of nostalgia. So, he refused to renovate or remodel the place, except for modernization. The original chrome decorations were still in place, and the vintage 1954 Juke Box was still active, still playing the original vinyl records of Jerry Lee Lewis, Elvis Presley, the Platters, and so many others, and still took a nickel a song.

Al had long sense passed away, but his family still ran the old place, and in spite of so many offers, that family refused to sell. The place still worked from seven-thirty to nine on school nights, 'til eleven on Fridays, but was now open a half-day on Saturdays.

Jade Nguyen tapped her expertly manicured nails on the table by the soda fountain before her in slight irritation, agitation quite evident across her lovely asian features. Ever since she moved into the area after what the Teen Titans and the media called the Titans Hunt, she had grown attached to the place, especially their chicken dumplings. Just like how Wen Ch'Ang used to make. And she had come to know the friendly and personable staff quite well.

But at the moment, one would think she was a bit of an Ice Queen. Her date was twenty minutes late, another five without word and she would head home. She had better uses of her time than to be stood up.

"Hey Babe."

"You are late Roy Harper." In her reply to her boyfriend's sudden arrival, Jade merely sat up straight, held her head high, and put up a front that conveyed much more annoyance than she really felt. Fortunately Roy knew this, and she knew that he knew this.

"Aw c'mon sweetie, don't be like that. I had to get spiffed up! You know me, only the best for you." He charmed, as he gently tapped her under the chin. "Besides, I had to work around my Nazi of a… sister. Karen."

Jade raised an eyebrow at that, looking at him from the corner of her eye as she placed a lock of her long, ebony hair behind an ear.

"Karen, eh? This is the first time you've mentioned any siblings."

Roy rubbed the back of his head mock-sheepishly. "Yeah well, she likes to act more like my mom then a sister. She's pretty hacked-off that I haven't mentioned you any."

"That so?" she said, turning more to her beaux, crossing her legs just so as a delicate finger laid itself to rest on her chin. Roy had dubbed it her 'plotting pose,' he didn't know why. "We've been dating for, what is it now? Two, three months? And so far you've not mentioned a word of me to your family? Roy, if I were a more insecure girl, I'd say you were ashamed of me."

"Aw come on!" Roy said, subtle, gentle laughter peaking from under his soothing tone. "Jadie, sweetheart, you know I couldn't give two cents what the folks think. I know we're good together, and I'm excited about seeing where this thing we have takes us." Roy took her hand tenderly in his own two, and oh so sweetly, so very gently, kissed the knuckle of each digit, as he maintained eye-contact. Secretly enjoying the subtle blush that caressed Jade's lightly tanned cheeks, the childish joy in her twinkling eye as she looked away as demurely as any Victorian debutante, and inwardly strutting about how it was _he_ that could to that to her.

"Hey! Love-birds! We're closin' in a few minutes." called Al's youngest son Dave from the grill. Jade liked the man, he was always thinking of something, and had always been kind to her-as he was with everyone, and had always been one for interesting, intelligent conversation.

Roy looked down at his watch, eight-fifty-two.

"Crap. The movie's already started. Sorry Sweets, guess I was later then I thought."

"No it's fine."

"Is there someplace you want to go still? The night's still young." Roy inquired, as a Titan, he had long since learned not only where the hot spots of the Night Life were, but also to take opportunities when they came. Things were quiet now, but how would that change tomorrow?

Jade sucked on her lower lip for a moment as she stood up. "Well, there is something I want to talk with you about," she side with a whisper. "But not here. …My building is just a couple blocks north of here. Why don't we take this over at my place?"

Roy stood rod straight for several seconds, eyes wide before nodding.

"All right you two, have fun." called Dave as they walked out the door, "Hey Harper! You treat Jade right! Otherwise me 'n' the boys'll come over and kick yer butt."

"Good_night_ Dave!" called out Jade as the doors closed, while she shoved her boyfriend out the entrance.

Jade's apartment was much as Roy had envisioned: oriental styled rugs and wall paintings, two examples of framed, hand-painted Vietnamese calligraphy sitting on the mantel over the TV. Had Roy ever learned the language, he would know that one meant "Blood", and the other meant "Sword."

"So, uh… What is it you wanted to talk about?" he asked as he continued to observe the living room, taking in the decorations: the replicas of Monet, of Jean François de Troy, and Silk Paintings of epic river valleys. The two Dao Swords that hung on the far wall, and a sort of asian guitar with three strings that hung beside them.

"It's… A little hard to explain out right." She replied, walking over to a corridor that presumably connected to her bedroom. "Could you wait here? The thing I want to talk about kind of needs visual aids."

As Jade closed paper-screen doors with a relieved smile, Roy had been half expecting a saxophone to begin playing as Jade's silhouette started changing into something slinky, and was somewhat relieved himself when her shadow walked away.

"Just sit anywhere!" She called out from behind the screen.

"Sit anywhere…" Roy whispered to himself, hands in his pocketsas he looked around the room and rocked on his heels, "Right."

And so the seventeen-year old began to wander and observe the decorations in the surroundings. By the window, he noticed what seemed to be an old bow mounted on the wall next to the window.

Upon further inspection, he recognized it as an old composite bow, possibly asian in origin. Below it was a small label.

_Chinese Bow. Yuan Dynasty, Ca.1287-1300_

_Shandong Province._

_'What is this, an apartment or a museum?'_ the Scarlet Archer thought to himself as he turned to the mantel.

On it, he noticed a picture of a younger Jade-possibly no older than nine-in the arms of an older Chinese man. Her grandfather perhaps, or maybe an uncle? Either way, the man in the picture had a bald head, white mustache and sporting one of those hats Roy had seen in a hundred movies set in China.

Beside the picture was a small self-standing wind chime knick-knack. Which Roy ran a finger through on impulse. He quickly touched the chimes to stop their music when he heard the slide of the screen doors opening, when he more flew then ran onto the couch.

In her arms, Jade held a bundle of green silk, and a package wrapped in dark brown paper.

"Roy, what I'm going to tell you isn't exactly easy to tell or hear, but… I really,_ really _like you, and I don't think it would be fair to not tell you."

With that, she gave the green bundle of cloth to Roy. When he unfolded it, he noticed that it was a simple green kimono… A very_ familiar_ green kimono, one that he was sure he'd seen at least once before.

"It once belonged to my mother, when she was working in Vietnam."

Roy looked at the garment with a somewhat incredulous expression, noting the lack of proportion between the length of the article of clothing compared to the length of the sleeves. Noticing the look, Jade answered his unspoken question after a second's long pause.

"…Let's just say that mom was young, poor and desperate and leave it at that."

"Oh. …OHH! Oh, I uh… I see."

Roy was a little slow on the uptake, but he caught up.

Jade then took the package and slowly began to remove the paper from its contents.

"Anyway, after I was born, my mother got very sick, and since she couldn't work while she was pregnant, she really couldn't afford any care." She grew silent a moment, but it was obvious what had eventually happened. "Anyway, a very nice man named Wen Ch'Ang adopted me. He was a freedom fighter during the last years of the war, and so he taught me everything he knew, so that I wouldn't be forced into my mother's line of work, if something happened to him, or he couldn't send me to school." She nodded her head toward the mantel, "That's him with me in that picture."

Roy's usual blasé attitude had diminished as his girlfriend continued to weave her tale, revealing an unusually mature facet of himself. He put a comforting hand over hers.

"Jade? Where is this going?"

Their eyes locked, and maintained it for a long moment. Then, Jade broke the eye contact to finish her story.

"Well, eventually something_ did _happen to Wen. Heart attack. The doctors had been telling him that he should've been watching what he ate. But… Well, let's just say that he enjoyed life, and the finer things of it. Like junk food."

Roy laughed with her. This Wen Ch'Ang sounded like the sort of guy whose company he and Ollie would've enjoyed while watching a game over a beer, trading stories all the while. Then the gears started turning in Speedy's head. The elements started to crash into place, and he didn't like the image they were forming.

"Anyhow, once again I was on my own, but fortunately Wen gave me the tools to take care of it." With that, she slipped a hand into the package, and pulled out two bars that seemed to have been designed to be held in the palms of one's hand, with strong Velcro straps to hold them in place, coming from the bars, between where the fingers would be, were three long, _very_ sharp blades.

The blood in Speedy's gut turned to liquid nitrogen before turning into lead._ 'Oh no...'_

"You see, Wen Ch'Ang was a member of the Viet Cong, like I said. And he taught me all he knew from his brief time with them. Different poisons and where to find them, how they work, different martial arts tactics, how the human body works."

She began to pull something else out from the package, and a flash of white porcelain could be seen, then purple whisker markings, then green cat eyes along with a very feline outline.

"After he died, I became an assassin, and a very good one at that, called Cheshire." Jade looked into Roy's eyes, her expression saddened, but uncompromising. "Roy, you are the first person I've ever told any of this to. You're the first person in a long time that I've actually cared for. Well, more than 'just another contact' or anything like that."

Roy took the mask in his hands, for the first time_ really_ looking at it since he was not at the receiving end of sharp claws…

"Roy…"

At the sound of Jade's voice-it was no wonder why she kept so silent during the hunt, not only did it make her really creepy, but Cheshire's real voice seemed to always reveal exactly how she was feeling-Roy looked to her, once more staring into her eyes. The green orbs seemed to have been glistening with unshed tears. In nervousness of the situation? Was she afraid that Roy would reject her over this? Or was it all an act…

_Four Hours Later…_

Roy finally entered the garage to the Tower, head still spinning from the events of the past few hours. He felt guilty about keeping silent about the fact that he was Speedy. He would have mentioned it, and he almost did several times while they were… but he didn't. Somehow, the situation he found himself in made telling her seem like a bad move, but not for the usual superhero reasons.

Jade- No, _Cheshire_, was leaving town soon for a few weeks on a hit, and wanted Roy to know before she left.

_'Great. How am I supposed to deal with THIS kind of nonsense? I should tell the guys, but…'_

Roy was suddenly blinded by the ceiling lights shooting on. "You're late." Said a voice from the evil eye-clawing light.

"Naw _geez!_ Do you want me to go blind?!"

"Relax Speedy." Said the voice, who Roy now recognized as Aqualad's. "Besides, would you rather face Bumblebee?"

"Oh… Right." Roy covered his eyes with one hand and he squinted them open. "Where is the queen anyway?"

"Oh she went on to bed," the fish teen replied. "Of course, I had to say that you had just called and was almost home. You owe me for covering you ya know."

From the smug sound in his voice, Speedy could almost see Aqualad with his arms crossed, with a vicious smile upon his face. The archer had no doubt that Aquaman's sidekick had every intention to collect when the opportunity gave itself.

"Great. I assume that you already logged me in?"

"You bet."

Speedy sighed. "All right, I'm headin' ta bed. It's past midnight anyway."

"Now hold on there," Aqualad called out, though Speedy continued to walk to the elevator, "what kept you out so late anyway?"

Speedy barked a laugh, "C'mon Fishboy, like I'd give you more ammo to use?"

With that, Speedy pressed the 'Doors Closed' button inside the car, then headed on up to his floor, and then his room, for some sleep.

His plan was to tell Jade the truth tomorrow. And he would have. But, her apartment was empty, aside from her things that is. It would seem that 'soon' meant 'the next morning'. And with no away number to call, or e-mail address, it would seem that jade would have an unexpected surprise from Speedy, her boyfriend…

Or would it be the other way around?

_The End… ?_

Well, I've had this finished for sometime, I was just waiting for my Beta to e-mail me back. Then I read Tari Silmarwen's latest story where she mentioned writing a Speedshire story, so she sorta forced my hand.

* * *


	10. 30 Extra Words

**30 Extra Words**

61) **Mind Screw**

Raven was dreaming pleasant dreams when a sudden spike of terror that felt distinctly of Beast Boy hit her like a tsunami, followed by absolute nothingness. This disturbed her more than the terror, since at least fear was a sign of life.

With more speed then would normally be considered needed, Raven ran out of her room to the living room. There, the screen was black aside from movie credits rolling, and on the couch was Beast Boy. Upon walking around the sofa, Raven noticed that the poor boy was in the fetal position with wide eyes in horror, the irises and pupils seemed to have shrunk to pin points.

"Beast Boy?" she tentatively prodded, "Are you okay?"

The chartreuse teen whispered something that Raven just barely heard.

_"People are made of orange soda…"_

In confusion, Raven picked up the remote and brought up the title of the movie that just ended…

_End of Evangelion._

62)** Dating Catwoman**

Nightwing could honestly say that he didn't know what to expect when Batman chimed in to say that he was in pursuit of Catwoman, but really: Candles? A red-and-white checkered tablecloth? Duck l'Orange?

Channeling his earliest days as the Boy Wonder, Nightwing crossed his arms as he looked at his surprised mentor and…date, and spoke in a completely serious voice.

"Would you like me to sing _Bella Note_?"

63) **Eldritch Abomination**

After the horrors that ensued when Neko tried to cook dinner, it was unanimously agreed among the rest of the Ronin Titans that she was never,_ ever_, aloud in the kitchen again. Cooking and Magic just should not mix.

64) **Noodle Incident**

The less said about Dick Grayson's bachelor party, the better.

65) **Thanks For The Mammary**

The second Phantasm hated training sessions. Mostly because of the fact that he was a lazy sort.

"Move it!"

But also because he didn't enjoy surprise meet 'n' greets with the simulated bad guys. As the teen stood back up he mused that that was something Cat-Star, clad in green shirt, black leather jacket, pants and combat boots, seemed to take a completely different view of.

In the past twenty-plus years the training regimens advanced rapidly. While the other pieces of equipment were still available, the Teen Titans now had a gymnasium-sized room with advanced holographic projectors and robotic drones, which the Titans were now playing Seek and Destroy with, Phantasm with his telekinesis, Cat-Star with bursts of crimson radiation she inherited from her father. For reasons Phantasm would like to remain secret, he was somewhat embarrassed that Cat-Star had to keep an eye on him, which was why he was so egger to return the favor not five minutes later. …Perhaps_ too_ egger.

"…Tell me Phan: Do you feel a lump?" she asked, a hint of a tease in her voice.

Imagine his personal horror and awkwardness when he realized that he unintentionally grabbed/groped one of the older girl's D-Cups of Justice.

66) **Take That**

For the Christmas after their little adventure in Tokyo, Raven did some research and got Beast Boy a custom made black shirt that in white block letters said: 'Otaku = Geek'.

In response, for her birthday Beast Boy got her a custom shirt as well. On the back had a surprisingly well done image of her father looking quite triumphant holding what looked like an octopus, though from the bloody stump poking out from behind the tentacles it seemed as though it was the head of some creature. On the front it said 'My Dad can kick Cthulhu's butt.'

Her response was to toss the garment at the boy. However, from the amused smile on her face it seemed that she realized that Beast Boy had indeed got her back_._

67) **Marshmallow Hell**

The Tyke Titans were visiting the tower today, which meant everyone had to put up with Timmy Tantrum's, well, temper tantrums. Fortunately Raven was never too far away from the rugrats, so if things got to out of hand she was available to bail everyone else out.

Beast Boy and Cyborg had been play wrestling with the boys when things got a bit too rough for Timmy's taste, and Raven came in to calm him down with a hug, with his face buried deeply right in her…anyway, the point was that the boy was finally calming down, even if it was from a possible lack of air.

"I never thought I'd live to see the day where I'd be jealous of a _three-year old_." Beast Boy whispered to Cyborg, arms crossed in a pout.

68) **Memetic Mutation**

Robin was getting annoyed by all the _"DARN YOU SLADE!!"_ photoshopped images he kept running into on the internet.

69) **Yaoi Fangirls**

Robin was getting disturbed with all the Robin/Slade stuff he was running across on the internet. And Star was _really_ getting annoyed with it. And you know what _that_ means.

70)** Lethal Chef**

Turns out that Tameranian food's really good. …It's just that Starfire's a horrid cook.

71) **Freud Was Right**

Robin got the feeling that it might have been a mistake to let Beast Boy and Cyborg learn psychology when they started giggling every time he grabbed a birdarang after they covered Sigmund Freud.

72) **Yandere**

No one knew this, but before her betrayal, Raven had no less than seventeen plans to have Terra 'disappear' should her and Beast Boy's relationship escalate.

73) **Tsundere**

Hotspot held his stinging cheek, watching Argent walk calmly down the hallway as though nothing had happened.

_'I swear she's nuts or something.'_

Of course, anyone in front of the girl would've noticed an ambiguous blush across her face, and a fist clenching the fabric of her skirt.

_'Of all the bloody daffy-headed boys in the world, why do I have to be attracted to HIM?!'_

75) **Sealed Evil In A Can**

On the second anniversary of their epic battle with her father, Raven woke up with a post-it note on her forehead.

_For unspeakable evil, just chant poem._

She normally would've considered having Beast Boy die, then she remembered that she would then have to deal with the body. …She was too tired to deal with that.

76) **Memetic Sex God**

Beast Boy was pleased with his status among his fans.

77) **Rule-34**

Beast Boy was no longer pleased with his status among his fans.

78) **Funbag Airbag**

During a fight with Mumbo, there was a moment that Raven and Beast Boy refuse to acknowledge. See, they were getting into position to ambush the mad magician from behind, Raven in the back, and Beast Boy in front, crouching low. Long story short: Mumbo turned around suddenly, causing Beast Boy to panic and turn around to run while simultaneously standing. He momentarily forgot about his surroundings as he moved and, well…

79) **Omniscient Council of Vagueness**

Doctor Talos looked pleased towards the vague shapes of his two cohorts around the small darkened table, his single glowing eye the only real clue to his identity from their perspectives.

"The targets appear to still be unaware of our plans for them."

"Then we have the go ahead to continue with The Scenario?" asked Doctor Goddard, her icy cold delivery belaying a voice that sounded like it should have been perpetual cheer.

"Yes we do."

The two figures look expectantly toward the one who had not yet spoken. After a few tense seconds, Doctor Razorfeather spoke.

"…I can't think of anything vague or ominous to say." said Robin as he turned on a nearby lamp. "What does this and Takahashi have to do with Beast Boy and Raven anyway?"

At that Cyborg smacked his palm to his forehead as Starfire gave an annoyed grunt and smacked her head onto the table.

80)** Gendercide**

The Tyke Titans were visiting the tower today, Timmy and Teether were outside with the boys while Melvin was with Raven and Starfire. They were playing a game, a game where Melvin was the wise Queen, and Raven and Star were her court.

"Today!" decried Queen Melvin, Lady of all she surveyed, "I hereby declare that henceforth, all boys shall be exiled from my kingdom!"

Star and Raven looked at each other ruefully as they applauded.

"But your majesty," Duchess of the Ravens inquired, "What of you valiant stead Bobby?"

The Queen looked at the giant teddy bear for a beat before giving her frank answer: "Bobby's a girl now." This caused a large pink bow to pop into existence on one ear.

81) **Contemplate Our Navels**

During their battle with Control Freak amongst the air waves of television, the Titans and the villain wound up in one of Beast Boys favorite Anime's. Sadly, it was the mandatory soul searching episode, and they were stuck there for _hours._

82) **Refuge in Audacity**

When Control Freak sent Valentine's Day cards to Starfire, Robin was concerned. When the villain tried to hack the Teen Titans Mainframe so that he could use the surveillance cameras to watch the princess going about her daily activities, he was angry.

When Control Freak camped out on their island with a veritable garden of her favorite Earth flowers, chocolates and brand of mustard, while playing the guitar and singing an admirable but hopelessly off-key rendition of _Do I Make You Proud_, the Boy Wonder couldn't help himself but fall flat on his butt and laugh for almost an hour.

83) **Only You Can Repopulate My Race**

Beast Boy looked at a desperate Raven with eyes as wide as saucers. Was she serious?

Then he remembered: It was April 1st.

84) **Tranquil Fury**

After the office building collapsed, which seemed as though it killed all of Cyborg's teammates within, the H.I.V.E. Five realized that they were doomed. Solely on the calm, blank expression the remaining teen was giving them.

85) **Spin Off Babies**

Raven and Beast Boy stared at each other for several long, awkward seconds, Beast Boy alternating between Raven and the _Tiny Titans_ comic book issue in her hands.

"Don't judge me!!" she yelled, her eyes glowing red.

86) **Extreme Omnivore**

After Silkie's forth check up, no one was surprised to find a plethora of random objects in his gut. Cyborg started to schedule it around Spring Cleaning.

87) **This Is SPARTA**

The Tyke Titans were visiting the tower today, and Raven was giving the kids a jump start on their geography and Greek Mythology lessons. Sadly, Beast Boy and Cyborg also wanted to attend, though it soon became glaringly obvious that they just wanted to be silly and mess up her lesson. When she got around to teaching them about the various city-states of Ancient Greece, she finally blew up at Beast Boy when he pointed at the map and quoted some dumb movie.

"That!_ Was! ATHENS!!_"

88) **Most Common Superpower**

Cyborg one day noticed something all the super heroines had in common.

But he was smart enough to keep quiet about it and laugh at the media reaction when a News Anchor did a report on it.

89) **Mel Brooks**

_Blazing Saddles_, it was the one time the boys stood unanimous in terms of Movie Night. It was also the only time Robin flat out looked Starfire in the eye and said no.

He had to make it up later, but still.

90) **The Caligula**

After the disaster involving Slade when the team was first formed, Robin swore to keep a cooler head in the future. But to make sure, Cyborg-and Raven as a consult-made a program designed to freeze all the computer terminals in the tower when Robin was logged in after a certain length of time on one subject, rerouting all his searches to a Wiki page about a certain Roman Emperor who was well known for being bat-guano insane.

* * *

All these are terms from the website TVTropes dot org. All of which I have used accurately. Go there and have fun. ^_^ For memetic mutation I had to borrow one that existed for a little while on the RBSU, since it seems that TT didn't spawn any.

_End of Evangelion_ was the movie/ending of the Anime _Neon Genesis Evangelion_. I've not seen the show or movie, but I _did_ see seven and a half minutes of the climax of the movie on YouTube and I'll say this: I doubt my reaction was very far from Beast Boys.

I think this is the best one of these that I've done so far. ^_^ Can you believe that I did these over the weekend? Let's see, I posted the last chapter on Friday, July 24th 2009, and I'm posting this on Monday, July 27th 2009. I think that's my quickest turnaround yet!


	11. Elegy 29

**Elegy 29**

Believe it or not: This poem was published in the 1600s

* * *

Raven sat at the kitchen table reading her usual fare, a steaming cup of tea at her side. It was Valentines' Day, and Robin and Starfire were out on a night on the town. Dinner, movie, stroll through the park. That sort of thing. Cyborg left over an hour ago, saying something to the affect of getting parts for the T-Car that just came in.

Though considering the fact that he left at around seven, it was doubtful that that was the case. The girl figured that he was meeting that girl he mentioned sometimes was a likely alternative.

Raven briefly asked herself where the fifth roommate was. All day she had seen neither hide nor hair of Beast Boy. Had it been any other day of the year, especially the first of April, this would've been cause for concern. However, after a rather infamous incident in their first year involving a forged signature, a card, and him in kitten form with black dye, Beast Boy learned that Valentines' Day was strictly off limits.

It was with this mindset that she heard the doors cycle open and closed.

_'Ah yes,'_ Raven thought to herself as she turned a page in her book,_ 'speak of the Devil, here he is.'_

There were footsteps from the door leading to the kitchen area when they stopped at the counter. After several seconds of silence Raven decided to indulge her curiosity and look up. On doing so she saw Beast Boy leaning up against the counter, arms crossed and a smug expression on his face.

They remained like that for several long moments, Raven looking at Beast Boy and vice-versa, when suddenly the teen started speaking in Elizabethan rhythm.

_"Come, madam, come, all rest my powers defy, _

_Until I labor, I in labor lie."_ He said, walking decisively towards her.

Umm… What? When did Beast Boy learn to recite poetry? …And furthermore, when did he have the time to memorize it?!

_"The foe oft-times having the foe in sight, _

_Is tired with standing though he never fight. _

_Off with that girdle,"_ he said, gesturing to her leotard, _"like heaven's zone glistering, _

_But a far fairer world encompassing."_

Raven's eyes widened, a faint blush came to her cheeks as she clutched her book to her chest.

He pointed to the broach that held her cloak in place.

_"Unpin that spangled breastplate which you wear,"_

What in Azar's name?!

_"That th' eyes of busy fools may be stopped there. _

_Unlace yourself, for that harmonious chime _

_Tells me from you that now it is bed time."_

It was here that Beast Boy took one of Raven's hands in his own, the girl most assuredly frozen to the spot. The boy looking her right in the eye with a gaze that seemed positively lecherous, and yet seemed at the same time completely unthreatening, and almost innocent.

All that changed when he suddenly and an ashamedly lowered his gaze to her chest, seeming to see through the book.

_"Off with that happy busk, which I envy, _

_That still can be, and still can stand so nigh."_

Beast Boy let go of her hand, and began to circle Raven, that smug expression never leaving his face. By this point Raven's face took a more crimson tint on the cheeks.

_"Your gown, going off, such beauteous state reveals, _

_as when from flowry meads th' hill's shadow steals. _

_Off with that wiry coronet and show _

_The hairy diadem which on you doth grow:"_

It was here that Raven's face became beat red, her lower lip starting to be sucked into her mouth. Raven would've followed him with her gaze, but for some reason she was decidedly frozen.

_"Now off with those shoes, and then safely tread _

_In this love's hallowed temple, this soft bed."_

It was here that Beast Boy suddenly encircled his arms around her tiny waist, squeezing her back to his chest. The only form of protest she offered-if it could be called that-was a most adorable squeak! with her face nor beat red.

_"In such white robes, heaven's angels used to be _

_Received by men; thou, Angel, bring'st with thee"_ he said seductively, gently tracing the outline of her jaw with the tip of his middle finger.

_"A heaven like Mahomet's Paradise; and though _

_Ill spirits walk in white, we easily know _

_By this these angels from an evil sprite: _

_Those set our hairs on end, but these our flesh upright._

_License my roving hands, and let them go _

_Before, behind, between, above, below." _

At the end of that sentence, the emerald Titan took the girl's ear in his mouth with an exaggerated 'chomp' sound, sucking on the shaped cartilage and rubbing his tongue against it at once.

Raven meanwhile balled up in her seat, whimpering at the sensation, her toes curled upon themselves.

Her teammate after a short time seemed to have enough of that, because suddenly his arms left her waist-much to Raven's shocked disappointment-and one encircled her shoulders while the other pointed in a seemingly random direction, while Beast Boy took a decidedly epic pose.

_"O my America! my new-found-land, _

_My kingdom, safeliest when with one man manned,"_

Here Beast Boy stared deep into Raven's eyes once more, a thumb brushing gently on her red chakra in her forehead.

_"My mine of precious stones, my empery, _

_How blest am I in this discovering thee! _

_To enter in these bonds is to be free; _

_Then where my hand is set, my seal shall be."_

As Raven sat transfixed to the green eyes of her teammate, a noticeable blush across her cheeks, Beast Boy cupped the sides of her face in his hands, and spoke to her in a low, seductive whisper, his sweet breath tickling her nose as he pressed their foreheads together. Normally his attempts at being a seducer failed miserably, but tonight, Raven was all but convinced that she was being serenaded by the Casanova.

_"Full nakedness! All joys are due to thee, _

_As souls unbodied, bodies unclothed must be _

_To taste whole joys. Gems which you women use _

_Are like Atlanta's balls, cast in men's views, _

_That when a fool's eye lighteth on a gem, _

_His earthly soul may covet theirs, not them. _

_Like pictures, or like books' gay coverings made _

_For lay-men, are all women thus arrayed; _

_Themselves are mystic books, which only we _

_(Whom their imputed grace will dignify) _

_Must see revealed. Then, since that I may know, _

_As liberally as to a midwife, show _

_Thyself: cast all, yea, this white linen hence, _

_There is no penance due to innocence."_

After this he paused, and stepped away a half-step. Taking his pointer and middle fingers to his lips, he kissed them, then pressed them to her own. Then, he walked slowly towards the door of the Main Room, stopping in the doorway before turning around to her once more in the Gentleman's Pose: back strait, and a hand held at the small of his back.

_"To teach thee, I am naked first; why than, _

_what needst thou have more covering than a man?"_

At this, he took a formal bow that would've been right at home at the Queen's Court, that smug smile never leaving his face.

From there, Beast Boy tilted his head up to look at Raven once more, all that romantic air that he had crafted around himself somehow gone.

"Happy Valentines' Day Rae."

With that he turned, and walked silently out the door, which cycled closed behind him, leaving Raven all alone in the room once more.

Seconds ticked by in silence, with the girl just staring at the door, a hand curled to her heart, and the other resting upon her warm pink cheek, her book long forgotten. And deep within her mind, the aspects of Raven's personality were also highly affected, though in different ways.

Timid was so embarrassed by the episode that she buried herself deep within the fold of her cloak, for all the good it would do her. Brave and Happy were both laughing their guts out, the former at his blatant bravado, the latter because it all made her so giddy. Affection was practically swooning, and Intelligence was drooling, with Hearts pounding in her eyes behind her thick lenses as she fanned herself. This wasn't due to the nature of the poem, but the fact that Beast Boy actually recited a poem to her at all.

Rage was oddly silent.

And when Cyborg and even Star and Robin returned hours later, Raven was still sitting in that chair, contemplating what had just happened.

* * *

This poem is called _To His Mistress Going to Bed_ by John Donne, and was published in 1654. Donne is well known for the poetic phraise/proverb "therefore never send to know for whom the _bell_ tolls; It tolls for _thee_." We had to read it for British Literature I last semester and I just knew that I _had_ to use it somewhere, mostly based on the fact that this bawdy piece was written in an era that stereotypically was rather repressed in these matters.

Thus I came up with the framing device of Beast Boy impressing Raven with his reciting skills, while at the same time getting her hot an' bothered and using a piece that he wouldn't get bored with. Like BB, I don't even like poems and I got a kick out of this!

But I forgot about it for a while until I found it last night, and since the internet was out and I had nothing else to do, I figured 'why not' andtyped this up. ^_^

Remember kids! If it's in one of the Norton Anthologies, it's not porn, it's culture!


	12. Mystery Girl No More

**Mystery Girl No More**

_Disclaimer: …Does it really need to be said?_

**8:57, Wayne Manor. 1940 Finger Drive, just outside Gotham City limits**

Alfred Pennyworth skillfully moved the razor across the long strip of leather, sharpening the blade to a fine point as the hot towel lay across Bruce Wayne's defined features. Taking a sheet of paper, the valet put to metal tongue to it and pulled downward. The sound of slicing paper filled the restroom, followed by the sound of two cleanly divided sheets fluttering to the tile floor. With a satisfied nod, Alfred struck the blade to the leather once more to regain the edge lost-regardless of how slight.

Let it not be said that Master Wayne was incapable of shaving his own face. On the contrary, the man was perfectly able of doing such a task with a simple disposable razor himself. However, there were occasions, such as today's charity brunch at eleven, sponsored by the Wayne Foundation, where Master Wayne simply _had_ to look his absolute best. As such the man needed the assistance of someone well trained in the art of personal grooming. Someone that Alfred Pennyworth just happened to be, along with his other plethora of talents.

As the towel was removed and the perfectly heated shaving cream was applied, Bruce Wayne uttered a 'finally' under his breath, then turned on the small television, set to a major news network, then he picked up that morning's copy of _The Gotham Gazette_ to read as Alfred worked.

The Gentleman's Gentleman rolled his eyes and gave a little sigh, but ignored it and set to work. When the news anchor cut off the weatherman…

"_This just in…_

**6:57, Grand Eagle Plaza Apartments, Penthouse Suite, Star City**

Oliver Queen groaned as he sat on the couch in the den, clad in a white terry robe. Stifling a yawn, he covered his mouth with a languid hand, subconsciously noting the stubble growing around his Van Dyke beard and moustache. Why was he up so freakin' early?

From the Master Bathroom, the hissing of the shower stopped, and minutes later, the shapely form of the blonde haired Dinah "Black Canary" Lance-similarly attired-walked into the room with two mugs of coffee.

'_Heh, that's why…'_ the blond man thought as he took an offered mug. "Morning beautiful, how'd you sleep?"

Dinah ignored the question as she picked up the remote. "Don't you have a Charity Brunch over in Gotham you need to get ready for?"

Ollie sipped the caffeine-rich beverage. "Yep, but I can be fashionably late. 'Sides, it'll tick Bats off."

Dinah simply rolled her eyes and was about to change the channel when they both heard just what the anchorwoman was saying…

"_-just in from Steel City, where the Titans East…"_

**5:57, Titans Tower, Jump City**

Robin sat at the main terminal in the living room, looking over reports from the Honorary and teamed Titans e-mailed from the world over. Rubbing the bridged of his nose, the Teen Wonder considered heading back to bed for a powernap. In spite of what others thought, Robin _did_ have a grasp on his body's limitations. In fact, after training with Batman it would be impossible _not_ to know such things.

The wingman of the Dynamic Duo was about to get out of his chair when an alert came in, mentioning a news story involving Titans East.

Robin sighed. _'All right, I'll check up on this, _then_ I'll go to bed.'_

"_-where the Titans East are fighting in the streets with…"_

**Some Mountain in New Zealand**

Jericho looked up at the stars and he absentmindedly tuned his guitar, his Titans communicator currently performing its MP3 Player application, playing a song from some old made for TV musical. While the boy had little issue with his team, there were times that Joseph Wilson wished to just be alone and at peace with nature.

To his right was a small battery-powered radio, currently tuned to the same station that dozens of other Titans and affiliates were tuned in to, unknown to him. He was about to turn off the radio to listen to his playlist when the news anchor's words stuck out to him.

"_-Titans East are fighting in the streets with the well known assassin Cheshire. The battle started at approximately 8:42 local time at Mill Avenue, and has moved south to Baker's Drive in the Downtown area. Our cameraman on the street Snapper Carr is currently in the area, we'll be cutting to him now."_

**8:58, Steel City**

Speedy silently cursed to himself as he pulled out an arrow from his quiver and drew the bow. The three-foot long projectile flew through the cool summer morning air towards its target, the mysterious and secretly lovely Jade Nguyen, known to the rest of the world as the assassin Cheshire. A fraction of a second before impact, the cylinder and the end of the arrow burst open, releasing its cargo: the red cords of a net designed to catch just about every kind of criminal one could think of.

Except for _this_ one. Almost as if she could have seen it before it happened, the kimono clad form swirled around like a top, her super-hard alloy claws caught the net and sliced it to ribbons.

The Teen Archer cursed under his breath again. He knew the second he saw the ID of the perp this morning that this battle would be _way_ more awkward than any he had before in his admittedly short career, but now he didn't even have his teammates to 'hide' behind anymore. Cheshire's seemingly random attacks in hind-sight were a brilliant use of Divide and Conquer tactics: A well placed and timed explosive under the street right at the start sent Aqualad into the sewer, one that Speedy remembered was a high-speed flow to the nearest treatment plant(who knew Bumblebee's hours of lectures and homework on memorizing the city infrastructure would be of use?). It would take the aquatic teen at least twelve minutes to get back to the hole against the current, and at about five more minutes to 'surf' here. In other words any minute now. Still to long though.

Bumblebee was caught minutess after that in front of an ambulance arriving on the scene, she was fine, but she told him and the twins to go on without her while she 'got her bearings again.' She also said that Speedy was in charge of the fight now. Had it been any other bad guy, Speedy would've been floored by the trust she was putting in him.

How the three of them made it through this long Speedy didn't know, especially when it ended so quickly when said twins made a rush for Cheshire against Speedy's orders, and for their troubles got separated by a Bo staff that seemed to come from nowhere. Roy had a suspicion that Jade probably got it from whatever place Robin did. Since Mas y Menos were traveling at well over three-hundred miles an hour, they hit the wall of the bank about three-feet behind Cheshire with enough force to almost rip an elephant in half. In other words: they were out like a light for a while, even though he saw them slowly trudging to their feet in the corner of his eye.

Cheshire obviously wanted Speedy. And now she had him all to herself.

'_Dang it,'_ Speedy thought to himself. _'This isn't how I wanted things to go. Jade was supposed to come home, I'd take her to a movie, we walk along the docks, I reveal my Identity, we go through the whole trust issue argument, progress to the Good Guy-Bad Guy Romance Issues argument, then work on stuff from there. Doing that after-or heaven forbid _during_- a battle, will just make things even worse!!!'_

Speedy was interrupted from his brooding by the Green Cat leaping at him, leaving him with barely enough time to block her claws with his reinforced bow. Had it been any other villain, Roy would've made some sort of snappy comeback, preferably with the subject of making out since it was a girl, but given the circumstances he knew that was a bad idea. Speedy the Hero was _not_ supposed to sound like Roy Harper the Boyfriend. So instead he pushed against her hard enough for her to need to do a series of back flips. Above the sound of the blood pounding in his ears and his own breathing, Speedy could hear what sounded like a tsunami, along with sound of large hornet wings. That coupled with the sounds of two disoriented voices talking Spanish gibberish to themselves was all the confirmation Speedy needed to tell him that his team was on the way.

Speedy unconsciously smiled at that as he readied another arrow incase Cheshire did something, But as he turned back to her he saw that he was likewise pinned down Mexican Standoff style as Cheshire had some sort of gun trained on him.

'_Aw crap._'

And as those sadistically smiling painted eyes gazed at him, she spoke words that every hero dreads to come from their foe.

"Hello. _Roy._"

His eyes widened from behind his mask, and suddenly Speedy was back in that apartment four months ago, he was sitting on the couch as he unwrapped brown paper, revealing the same mask before him now. The Blood-Nitrogen-Lead sensation slammed him again as he detachedly noticed that the gun was just barely shaking in her hands, the feel of his weapons slipping from his hands in shock, barely hearing the clattering of the bow and arrow on the pavement. He almost heard Aqualad and Bumblebee stop in their tracks, Bumblebee playing mediator to talk her down, to keep her from shooting, the twins gasping at the sight, Menos shouting at Cheshire, the only words sticking out to Roy Harper were _Ermano_, and _Solo_.

She _knew_.

This was very, very _bad_.

Then he noticed that she was talking to him, the thickness of her voice was quite telling about her emotional state.

"Tell me _Roy_, when were you going to tell me your little secret? The one I found out by _accident _from some _low-life_. When you proposed? After you arrested me? "Hey Baby! I'm sorry about you landing in Jail, by the way: I'm Speedy!" Or never? Or maybe after I no longer amused you and you were bored?!"

Her breathing was quite ragged now, obviously due to her distraught state. The gun by now had been lowered, but was still pointed at him with one hand, the other was a fist. And Jade was slowly taking shaky steps towards him. He could practically see Mas y Menos paused in mid-movement, their hands millimeters from eachother, in the corner of his eye he could tell Bumblebee was confused, and Aqualad-while also confused-seemed to have begun to piece it all together like he had, though the fish man seemed more angry about it than Roy was.

Somewhere in the background, muffled by the fact that it was irrelevant to the Here and Now, a piece of Roy Harper's mind picked up Bumblebee's epiphany.

"_Wait… _She's_ Jade?!"_ No Bumblebee, she's Mary Tyler Freakin' Moore.

Funny how unassociated one becomes during a jarring emotional moment.

" Tell me. _Roy._ Did you enjoy yourself? Did you go watch a movie with the guys the next day, boasting about your own 'score'? Did you sneak back into my apartment when I was asleep and take pictures? Are they on your personal Page on your Titans Network?!" Jade took a deep, throaty half-breath half-sob, she was within arm's reach now, she had dropped the gun around half way, the mocking smile of her mask in a horrifying dissonance with her body language, her words and her tone of voice.

"Am I now the big laughingstock of your little World Team now? Does everyone laugh at me when I come up in conversation? Am I seen by you all like so many saw my _mother? Do you?!_"

In a jolt, Jade ripped the mask from her face, where it shattered somewhere on the street, underneath her lovely exotic features were marred by her tortured expression, tears and snot trailing down her face, her tear-ravaged eyes were red and puffy. After a second's pause, she yelled out a phrase that was heard 'round the world.

"_Do you even care that I'm carrying your BABY?!"_

**9:10, Wayne Manor**

At the sound of that, Master Wayne turned his shockingly wide eyes towards the screen. Alfred's sole response was only a momentary pause mid-stroke, which was followed by a subtly disapproving 'hmmm', which was a good thing. After all, it would be most unfortunate for Bruce Wayne to not show up to such an important event for something as silly as a sliced Jugular.

It's just not gentlemanly.

**9:10, Daily Planet, Metropolis**

Clark Kent was sitting at his cubical, typing up a story for the Living Section about Old Mrs. Paterson and her baking pies for underprivileged kids in the Ghettos of the city. While Mister White and Lois may have been the type to get more excited about "bigger" stories about Political Sex Scandals, Wars, Major Disasters and other such things, Clark was one to appreciate the little Sunshine Moments of Everyday as he called them, and so for every "big" story he did for the paper, he did at least ten more on the other things right here in Metropolis and the county area. To show their readers that not everything in the world was all Doom and Gloom.

Perry didn't always appreciate them, but after he found out that Clark was freelancing them out to their rivals after they were flatout rejected, the Editor-in-Chief had second thoughts. And almost a heart attack.

When suddenly, Superman's Super-Hearing picked up the climactic sentence of the battle in Steel City. Saving the Paterson story, Clark opened the internet browser and started searching up information on Teen Pregnancy. Thirty minutes later when Perry burst into the room talking about the revelation, Clark was the first-well, only-one to volunteer to cover the story.

**7: 10, Mexico City**

Pantha was eating her breakfast as usual, watching American News, which wasn't as usual, but she was bored and there wasn't anything else on. Besides, it was always interesting to watch her fellow Titans fight.

"_Do you even care that I'm carrying your BABY?!"_

Milk and cereal spat from the Feline Luchadora as she sputtered in shock. Within seconds, she already had her summery on the matter:

"Speedy you _Slut!!!_"

**7:10, Grand Eagle Plaza Apartments**

The _tink_ of a mug hitting the wood of a coffee table resounded in the room as Black Canary covered her mouth with shock at the confession on television, the liquid inside staining the edition of yesterday's paper.

"Oh Roy you fool. You're supposed to wrap your tool." Was all Oliver Queen muttered to himself just loud enough for her to hear as he took a sip of coffee. "Still, an Asian, and a pretty one at that. He's got good taste."

Dinah chose to ignore that last part.

"Ollie? Don't you think your taking this a _little _too lightly?"

"Hey, Roy's a recovering Heroin addict. After that little bombshell of where his allowance was going every week this is nothin'."

Dinah shock her head in silent exasperation. Her boyfriend had a point, but really…

**Right then, at that Mountain**

"_Do you even care that I'm carrying your BABY?!"_

Jericho suddenly over tightened the string he was tuning, snapping the cord. Although, the wide-eyed mute didn't notice, sitting rock still as he was at the moment. Unheeded, the communicator played on the song without stop:

_Reproduction! (Reproduction!)_

_Hope he's proud of what he's done!_

**6:12, Titans Tower**

Robin stared wide-eyed at the screen. In spite of his no nonsense attitude-or perhaps _because_ of it-Robin was rather innocent in terms of intimacy, except for people that he didn't personally know, prowling the rooftops of a city as dirty as Gotham tends to beat the realities of the oldest profession into you with a rusty lead pipe after all.

But still, in spite of Bruce's Playboy cover, the man was sure Dick never was around to see that facet of it firsthand since taking him in after this parents died. Therefore, he and the Bimbo of The Week stayed at the Penthouse while Dick stayed at the manor and Alfred tutored him on the Battle of Waterloo and the British point of view of the American Revolution. Riveting stuff that.

The phone rang, and Robin answered it with a monotonous 'hello.'

So really it should come to no one's surprise that the Boy Wonder's brain was broken at the moment, and that you should leave a message at the sound of the tone.

"_Secure the Line._"

Unless you're Batman.

Robin did as requested and entered the command on autopilot. Suddenly he was eight, and caught by his parents sneaking into the Lion's cage with a pail of tar and some burlap bags.

"_Robin, since you're up, I'm going to assume you just saw the story on the news involving Speedy and a criminal. Yes?_"

"Yes sir."

"_It's just turned six over there. You have twelve hours to pull together a press conference to explain how your team policy does not condone Sexual Relations with known criminals, and that this was simply a fluke, and that it with _never _happen again. Am I correct in that statement?_"

"Yes sir."

"_Good. And you have twenty-four hours to come before the League to explain this situation, and tell us just what the devil happened over there. Am I clear young man?_"

"Yes sir."

"_Good._"

Batman hung up.

Two hours later Beast Boy dragged himself into the kitchen to get himself some breakfast, to find Raven, Cyborg and a distraught and tearful Starfire surrounding what appeared to be a comatose Robin.

"Ummm… What happened?"

Starfire sniffed, "Oh my dear friend Beast Boy! It is a horrible time, Robin's mind is broken!"

**9:50 PM, Titans Tower East, Steel City, that night**

What. A. Day.

Speedy, the part of him that was the Devil May Care aspect, knew that he was going to get yelled at for, well, everything. However, he didn't really expect it to be from Aqualad. Seems that Atlanteans would've fit right in during the Fifties. Roy could've taken a tongue lashing from Bumblebee, but not Aqualad. And to make matters worse, Bumblebee had barely said a word all day, just looked at him all day with this expression that seemed to say that she was _disappointed_ in him. Roy could've taken a lecture, but not that.

More than once Roy pinched, poked and slapped himself to check and make sure this was just a dream. From the bruise and tenderness on the side of his right hand from slamming it on a bulkhead, this was obviously _not _a dream.

The aftermath of the fight was predictable. After her confession, Jade broke down and cried, burying her face in his chest as she sobbed, his wrapping his arms around her automatically.

Not really knowing what to do with her, the team took Jade to the nearest hospital to have her checked out. Turns out she really _was_ four months pregnant, and given her MO and reluctance to open up that he encountered first hand when they met, Roy knew that she wasn't one to sleep around, and thus the fetus was obviously his. And Roy felt sick for doubting her.

When it was just her, the Doctor, Bumblebee and himself in the examination room, and she opened her kimono, even through the obviously jury-rigged assembly of Kevlar underneath, one could easily see her now growing stomach. That, combined with the first pictures from the Ultrasound, gave Roy a feeling. It was a weird feeling, and one that he didn't know was good or bad. He hoped it was a good feeling. It made him feel human.

On their way out, it was absolute _chaos _outside, with reporters and photographers and the gawking public to see the "Knocked Up Cat". The whole thing made him feel sick even now, none of them needed to see-let alone get involved in-that, especially Jade. She had enough to work with. Although, that Clark Kent guy that called later that day was actually respectful. Bumblebee said that he was one of the few reporters that see you a human, and not a chunk of meat, and said that he was the one to break the news with. Speedy had an _interview_ Friday.

Roy didn't know how they all made it out of there in one piece, though he suspected it somehow involved Mas y Menos. He'd have to thank them later. Out of all of this, they seemed to be taking it the most level-headed of them all, as ironic as that seemed.

Then there was the question of what to do with Jade.

The obvious answer was Jail. …Then there was the fact that _she's a scared teenager with a four-month old bun in the oven!!_ Somehow the idea that she, and the baby, wouldn't get ripped apart in there seemed laughable. And Hospital was out of the question too. Cheshire was an assassin, and a darn good one too, which meant that she had enemies that had no scruples about kids. And no matter how many guards and policemen you put around her room, all it takes is one Cinderblock, one crazed nut and they were all dead.

Around noon Bumblebee walked into the main room where they were all watching a silent Jade, she was in her best pants suit that none of them knew she had, and went downtown to talk to the DA and broke a deal: Jade would stay with the Titans East under constant watch for the duration of the pregnancy, with weekly visits from a court-approved doctor. Six weeks after the birth Jade would be taken into custody and the baby into the care of the state and secretly put up for adoption(the last part obviously not on paper).

Which brought him to here and now. Jade was given her own room in the tower, in the most secure portion of the building. Roy was standing in front of the door at the moment, staring at it. At about chest-height, was a little heart-shaped piece of paper with smilie faces and some Spanish gibberish on it. According to Aqualad-who was still not talking to him officially-it translated to "Jade's Lovely Suite." The gesture brought a smile to Roy's face as he knocked on the door. There was no response, though Roy had a feeling that she was still awake.

Gently opening the door a crack, the boy looked in to see a dark room, opening it a bit more revealed Jade sitting on the edge of the bed, her back to the door, her long dark hair done up in a ponytail, wearing the maternity clothes Bumblebee got her on the way home. It was a simple gesture, but a profound one, almost as if to say _'welcome to the family, however long your stay may be.'_ Seeing that he was right, Roy walked in and left the door ajar, to let some light in.

"I don't remember giving you permission to come in."

Roy reflexively winced at the sound of her voice, it was so hoarse and thick that it was obvious that she had been crying more, but also there seemed to be no emotion to it. Rage, despair, joy, it seemed that they left with the water of her tears.

"I'm sorry," he said, "but we need to talk."

"We?"

Roy gave an unseen and not amused smile. "Okay, _I_ need to talk."

"…Better."

Taking that as an invitation, the Teen Archer walked around the bed and sat beside the mother of his child, Roy didn't feel right calling himself her boyfriend.

They sat in silence.

"…I had every intention to tell you."

"Really." She didn't really seem to believe him.

But she seemed like she wanted to. It was a good start.

"I didn't at first because, well… I had just learned that my girlfriend was also a deadly assassin that I had fought a few times before. Plus it really wasn't my secret to tell, since I'm-"

"The Green Arrow AKA Oliver Queen's sidekick and ward." Was all she said.

"Well… Ward yes, but not sidekick. I was his _partner_."

She looked him square in the eye. "…Sidekick."

"…Sidekick."

More silence as Roy regathered his resolve.

"And, the reason I didn't tell you during…" he looked at her stomach, "you know, was because it would've been…awkward, to bring up."

The girl whirled around on him and glared at him with an intensity that felt as though her poison-dipped knives would shoot out of her eyes and impale him. Roy only had a second to responed to this before she gave in a hearty slap across the check with a resounding _smack_ that almost seemed to echo across the room before she turned back, facing the wall.

Roy resisted the urge to hold the offended cheek in sympathy. He simply clenched and unclenched his teeth until the pain lessened enough for him to speak.

"…I deserve that. And more. I had _every_ intention of telling you that morning, but you weren't there, and I had no way to reach you."

"Oh, so this is _my_ fault." There was a subtle steel to her voice, but it was undermined by the hoarseness of her voice.

"No… No, this is my fault. Turnabout is fair play, and I held back when you showed more love and trust than I did. And I am sorry."

As he said these tender words, he slowly, gently, put a loving had on her shoulder. And though she tensed for a moment, she also relaxed.

"By the time I learned the full truth, all I wanted was to see you dead." She took in a deep, calming breath. "I swore that you'd never see our child. Never know if it was a boy or girl." She pulled her knees up as best that she could, embracing her arms around them as she stared holes into the window on the wall.

"Wanted to make you suffer for what you did to me…"

Then, more tears silently slid down her cheeks as she quietly sobbed, seeking solace in his chest and warm arms.

Within minutes she was calm again, and they remained in that position for the rest of the night, simply watching the wall, and the sun slowly shine through the closed blinds as it rose again.

* * *

Man, this has to be my most dramatic story yet- also probably the longest. True, there are its humorous moments, but still.

I am most proud of the scene with Batman and Robin's interaction. Comedic gold that. ^_^

Anyway, this is part two of my Speedshire-Lian trilogy, and is in fact based on arcs of the original comics, after a fashion of course, and some of Cheshire's dialogue comes straight from a panel I found in her article of TitansTower, go there to learn more.

Also, Pantha's sole line here is almost verbatim from an issue during her time on the Titans way back when during the dark times of the Early Nineties. Except it was "Dick" instead of "Speedy," and it involved Starfire and a shapeshifter. It's… A _long_ story.

Anyway, had that issue come out ten years later, I have no doubt that "X you slut!" meme would've been more popular on the net than the "This! Is! SPARTA!" one is now.

The first Spanish word is actually Hermano(the H is silent), and it means "Brother," while Solo obviously means "Alone". What the twins actually said was _"Leave our brother alone!"_ Cue heartstring.


End file.
